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The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
Over-packaging of products contributes to the increasing amount of waste, and this issue should be solved as it causes detrimental effects on the environment. Some people think that the over-packaging should be stopped at manufacturing and distributing stages, others argue that it is a consumer's role to choose products with less packaging. This essay will discuss both views and explain why I think that the responsibility of manufacturers and supermarkets outweighs that of the purchasers. Producers and sellers of the products are predominantly accountable for reducing the packaging of their goods. This is because consumers would not have a choice, if all the products were packaged heavily. Furthermore, if the unpackaged products are cheaper, consumers would choose a cheaper option. For example, people go to a market and buy unpacked vegetables or fruits. They do not mind it because they know that the products are fresh and cheap anyway. Thus, a contribution from manufacturers and sellers is required to give consumers an option at first place. Nonetheless, it is the customers' responsibility to avoid over-packaged products. As it is evident in the recent change of prohibiting plastic bags at most of the supermarkets in Australia, shops are dedicated to reducing waste to some extent. However, some consumers keep buying plastic bags at the counter, or do not care if the products are heavily packaged or not. They should also be considerable of what they are buying and change their attitudes to reduce rubbish. In conclusion, I think while both sides have responsibility to decrease the amount of overly wrapped goods, more cautions should be taken in the process of the manufacturing and selling so that consumers can make a wide choice in choosing products without too much wrapping.
Over-packaging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
contributes to the increasing amount of waste, and this issue should
be solved
as it causes detrimental effects on the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the over-packaging should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at manufacturing and distributing stages, others argue that it is a consumer's role to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with less packaging. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the responsibility of manufacturers and supermarkets outweighs that of the purchasers.

Producers and sellers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
predominantly
accountable for reducing the packaging of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
would not have a choice, if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were packaged
heavily
.
Furthermore
, if the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpackaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are cheaper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
would choose a cheaper option.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to a market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unpacked vegetables or fruits. They do not mind it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are fresh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
anyway.
Thus
, a contribution from manufacturers and sellers
is required
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
an option at
first
place.

Nonetheless, it is the customers' responsibility to avoid over-packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As it is evident in the recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of prohibiting plastic bags at most of the supermarkets in Australia, shops
are dedicated
to reducing waste to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
buying plastic bags at the counter, or do not care if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
heavily
packaged or not. They should
also
be considerable of what they are buying and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitudes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
rubbish.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
while both sides have responsibility to decrease the amount of
overly
wrapped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, more cautions should
be taken
in the process of the manufacturing and selling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wide choice in choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without too much wrapping.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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