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TPO 06 - Question 3History Seminars Should Be ShorterCurrently, all of the seminar classes in the history department are three hours long. I would like to propose that history seminars be shortened to two hours. I make this proposal for two reasons. First v.1

TPO 06 - Question 3History Seminars Should Be ShorterCurrently, all of the seminar classes in the history department are three hours long. I would like to propose that history seminars be shortened to two hours. I make this proposal for two reasons. First v. 1
Admittedly, it is an undeniable fact that today's news reading habit has been increased by advancements of technology. As such, some people are of the opinion that digital media provide more information than the newspaper, whereas others opine that the newspaper has more information. This essay delves into both the views in order to arrive at a sensible conclusion. On the one hand, people are living in a mechanical world. So, they more considering the time consuming and convenient techniques for learning. As an aftermath of it mankind is utilising internet for knowledge acquisition. To be clearer, nowadays Technology has developed a lot as compared to the past. So, plenty of news applications and websites are available in this present era. As well as each and everyone has personal mobiles it more convenient and they get daily update news with clear explanation in this kind of application time consuming and convenience. For example, the latest survey of Boston University reveals that 60 percentage of people are using mobile news applications for saving their time and convenience. Hence it goes without saying that digital media more convenient and time consuming. On the other hand, the daily newspaper will improve the reading skills and concentration power. In other words, if a person has a newspaper reading habit that person has more reading skills and concentration power because that citizen spent at least 30 minutes for reading without any kind of destruction that will improve the concentration power. Moreover, the newspaper reading by people get good vocabulary knowledge and it have them to increase reading speed. For instance, the speed reading competition winner in Britain says he achieved the speed reading skill by newspaper reading that can be stated that newspaper assist to develop more reading skills. In this moot issue, I am inclined to hold the view that the internet has more information than newspaper because a digital media updating information in every second. To conclude, it can be irrefutably stated that the internet has more and latest information.
Admittedly
, it is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit has
been increased
by advancements of technology. As such,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that digital media provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, whereas others opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This essay delves into both the views in order to arrive at a sensible conclusion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a mechanical world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they more considering the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and convenient techniques for learning. As an aftermath of
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it mankind
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
internet for knowledge acquisition. To be clearer, nowadays Technology has developed a lot as compared to the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
applications and websites are available in this present era.
As well
as each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
has personal mobiles
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
convenient and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
daily update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
explanation in this kind of application
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and convenience.
For example
, the latest survey of Boston University reveals that 60 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
applications for saving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and convenience.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it goes without saying that digital media more convenient and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.

On the other hand
, the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and concentration power.
In other words
, if a person has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit that person has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and concentration power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that citizen spent at least 30 minutes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
without any kind of destruction that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the concentration power.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vocabulary knowledge and it
Did you mean "has"?
have
them to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
speed.
For instance
, the speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
competition winner in Britain says he achieved the speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
that can
be stated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
assist to develop more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In this moot issue, I
am inclined
to hold the view that the internet has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a digital media updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in every second.

To conclude
, it can be
irrefutably
stated that the internet has more and latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay TPO 06 - Question 3History Seminars Should Be ShorterCurrently, all of the seminar classes in the history department are three hours long. I would like to propose that history seminars be shortened to two hours. I make this proposal for two reasons. First v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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