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Do you agree or disagree that grades encourage students to learn? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

that grades encourage students to learn? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
It is often argued if the government should spend more money on critical issues like global farming and cut down on local environmental problems. Although I agree that increasing funding into global warming is important, I think that solving local environmental problems could be beneficial. On the one hand, the government should definitely allocate a bigger part of its budget to global warming. This threatening phenomenon has been causing a set of catastrophic changes in the Earth such as increasing average temperatures, extreme weather events, ice melting, sea levels rising, etc. Therefore, the economic and human cost caused by global warming is immeasurable. With proper financing, climate change could be slowed down significantly. For example, electricity, which is mostly powered by fossil fuels and accordingly emits an enormous amount of CO2 could be produced entirely by renewable resources with more funding in research. That’s why the government should adequately spend on climate warming in the first place. On the other hand, local environmental problems should also be well funded. Firstly, improving local habitat would also improve our current climate situation because the local environment is undeniably a part of the global environment. Moreover, taking action on local problems would assuredly spread more environmental awareness for the locals which partly makes them take more responsible actions in favour of the environment. Thus, the authorities should also spend more money on local issues. In conclusion, I think that the government should wisely distribute its budget between solving threatening environmental problems and local problems to slow down and recover from global warming.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money on critical issues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
farming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing funding into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could be beneficial.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should definitely allocate a bigger part of its budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. This threatening phenomenon has been causing a set of catastrophic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the Earth such as increasing average temperatures, extreme weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, ice melting, sea levels rising, etc.
Therefore
, the economic and human cost caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is immeasurable. With proper financing, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
could
be slowed
down
significantly
.
For example
, electricity, which is
mostly
powered by fossil fuels and
accordingly
emits an enormous amount of CO2 could
be produced
entirely
by renewable resources with more funding in research. That’s why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
adequately
spend on climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
in the
first
place.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
also
be well funded.
Firstly
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
habitat would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
climate situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
environment is
undeniably
a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environment.
Moreover
, taking action on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would
assuredly
spread more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
awareness for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
which partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them take more responsible actions in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the environment.
Thus
, the authorities should
also
spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
issues.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
wisely
distribute its budget between solving threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to slow down and recover from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay that grades encourage students to learn? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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