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The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books, and they should not waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, videos and DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.3

The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books, and they should not waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, videos and DVDs. with this statement? v. 3
It is often argued that public libraries have a principal scope, namely to give books to those who have a need. I completely disagree with this opinion and I think that supply expensive electronic devices may be more effective. First of all, I believe that providing expensive electronics reduce the time of searching and all of the information is in a better order. Even if someone has needed to search exact information, it is very simple with a computer to search it. For example, when I was studying we had a lot of projects to do in a short time. It was very simple to go into a public library and to do a search on a computer. Like that we did our projects on time. That’s why it’s more important to offer more ways for the stage of searching. Secondly, providing electronics would attract more reader with the use of technology. In other words, there is a strong relation between technology and the people of the 21st century. Supplying electronic devices make the libraries more attractive, thus the number of readers is increasing and also the finances. For instance, in my city when I was little there was a simple library with only books, but unfortunately there were many readers there. 10 years later when I visited the library again, I was surprised because there were more children there. I think that was because of computers that were brought there. Thus, advantages of electronics that keep people more inspired. To conclude, I strongly believe that public libraries who provide not only books, but also electronic devices is more beneficial that public libraries that supply only books, because make time of searching more short and also attract more readers.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries have a principal scope,
namely
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to those who have a need. I completely disagree with this opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that supply expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices may be more effective.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that providing expensive electronics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of searching and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
information is in a better order. Even if someone has needed to search exact information, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple with a computer to search it.
For example
, when I was studying we had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
projects to do in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple to go into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library and to do a search on a computer. Like that we did our projects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. That’s why it’s more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to offer more ways for the stage of searching.

Secondly
, providing electronics would attract more reader with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between technology and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the 21st century. Supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the libraries more attractive,
thus
the number of readers is increasing and
also
the finances.
For instance
, in my city when I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
there was a simple library with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
readers there. 10 years later when I visited the library again, I
was surprised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were more children there. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of computers that
were brought
there.
Thus
, advantages of electronics that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more inspired.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries who provide not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices is more beneficial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries that supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of searching more short and
also
attract more readers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books, and they should not waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, videos and DVDs. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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