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TPO 06 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain the difference between active and passive attention. v.1

TPO 06 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain the difference between active and passive attention. v. 1
It is no doubt that at the present day, every country is providing a free health service to their citizens. However, some more countries like third world countries are not equipped with the latest treatments and methods. It is due to lack of latest medical apparatus and economic conditions. In this essay, we will look at the aspects in some extent with suitable examples. Firstly, the private hospitals has occupied mostly in developing countries. The most people would like to go there due to they are providing the treatments fast with advanced methods and approaching the patients systematically. However, they are charging more money from people and the diseases will not be cured completely at some times. The people who are middle class or low income will get suffered and take more time to come back normal. The Government should control the private hospital counts and use the peoples' money correctly to make the way for the people to come and get the treatment in Government Hospitals. Secondly, the poorer countries are still suffering with basic communicated diseases due to lack of hospital counts and advanced treatments and also unclean food. The Government should initialize the steps to increase the hospital counts, send the doctors to abroad to do the fellowship courses in medicines, supply the latest equipment to hospital, create an awareness to their citizen about clean environments and also food. Consequently, the diseases will be stopped spreading significantly across the people. For instance, Nigeria is one of the African countries, their people were dying frequently by spreading diseases a few years ago. The World Health Organization and the country have taken the necessary steps to control the diseases and also in future. To conclude, The Government is charging more money from people in the name of medical taxes. Therefore, they should spend money properly for health service otherwise the health of the people is questionable.
It is no doubt that at the present day, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is providing a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service to their citizens.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not equipped with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
and methods. It is due to lack of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
medical apparatus and economic conditions. In this essay, we will look at the aspects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with suitable examples.

Firstly
, the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
has occupied
mostly
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to go there due to they are providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
with advanced methods and approaching the patients
systematically
.
However
, they are charging more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
will not
be cured
completely at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or low income will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suffered and take more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back normal. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should control the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
counts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
correctly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Hospitals.

Secondly
, the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
suffering with basic communicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
counts and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
and
also
unclean food. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should initialize the steps to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
counts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the doctors
Did you mean "too abroad to"?
to abroad to
do the fellowship courses in medicines, supply the latest equipment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, create an awareness to their citizen about clean environments and
also
food.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
spreading
significantly
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, Nigeria is one of the African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were dying
frequently
by spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
a few years ago. The World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have taken the necessary steps to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and
also
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

To conclude
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is charging more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the name of medical taxes.
Therefore
, they should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service
otherwise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is questionable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay TPO 06 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain the difference between active and passive attention. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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