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Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. with this statement? v. 2
Reading books is a traditional method for people to gain knowledge and creativity. It has a high evaluation in stimulating the creativity than just watching films and televisions. I am totally agree with this viewpoint. There are many major reasons for the benefits of reading books. Firstly, books are well-organised and edited carefully before printing. In addition, books normally written by scientists and valuable authors that have intensive knowledge and know how to express their ideas in an easy way to understand. Therefore, people always learn a lot from books. Secondly, many kinds of writing styles are used in books to make them more interesting. For example, children's books bring another world for our offsprings to imagine. Finally, when spending time with a book, humankind can have time to think carefully if they have questions or they need to clarify the information mentioned inside that book. This cannot be done when watching television, which cannot be paused, especially with live broadcasting programs. On the other hand, images and colours in TV and films might affect people’s sense. Humankind tends to follow the direction that the program managers or film directors specified, therefore, limiting viewers’s judgement and imagination. Moreover, many films contained the violent contents bring bad effect to the mature process of people, especially children and teenagers In conclusion, reading books is best habit that proved through many years. As the result, this useful activity is more encouraged than spending time watching televisions and films at all types of ages.
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is a traditional method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain knowledge and creativity. It has a high evaluation in stimulating the creativity than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching films and televisions. I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this viewpoint.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major reasons for the benefits of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'well-organised' is British English.
well-organised
and edited
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
printing.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
normally
written by scientists and valuable authors that have intensive knowledge and know how to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
to understand.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always learn a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of writing styles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more interesting.
For example
, children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
bring another world for our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to imagine.
Finally
, when spending time with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, humankind can have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
carefully
if they have
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
questions or
they need to clarify the information mentioned inside that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. This cannot
be done
when watching television, which cannot
be paused
,
especially
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
broadcasting programs.

On the other hand
, images and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
in TV and films might affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
sense. Humankind tends to follow the direction that the program managers or film directors specified,
therefore
, limiting
Did you mean "viewer’s" or "viewers’"?
viewers’s
judgement and imagination.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films contained the violent contents bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect to the mature process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers


In conclusion
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
habit that proved through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. As the result, this useful activity is more encouraged than spending time watching televisions and films at all types of ages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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