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TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v.1

TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v. 1
Railways are cheapest and easiest form of transportation for people. Therefore, some citizens of many countries believe that officials should build new rail lines and they should spend more fund on creating new tracks. While, the opposition says that the old public shipment must be updated and budget should be higher for that purpose. I will discuss both views and will give my own opinion. Few people of different countries rely on building new track lines to link cities for the fastest train voyage and they suggest that more income must be fixed for this purpose. They think as because old tracks have expired now and new railway paths are necessary for the fastest journey. Therefore, more wealth is required for the setup of new lines among the urban areas. In my view, wage is essential for such projects. For the favour of public, governments should spend huge amount of money on increasing new railway tracks. For example, Europe is a big model in this regard and European countries built new railroads and by doing this they improved public carry. Few human consensus that wealth should spend on updating the old way of transport. They think as because there are large journey facilities are already available in the cities for travelling or transport. So, there is no need to create new track paths and money must be saved and should spend on previous way of shipping. In my observation, earlier means of transport are outdated now and they do not fulfil the requirements of today's world. Previous railway tracks are expired now, therefore, large money spending is important for new lines. As an example, we can see first world countries are focusing on new railway tracks and underground railway projects, which are beneficial for public transportation without ant disturbance. In conclusion, old lines are useless now and no need of money for such projects. New railway paths must be created and more money must be fixed for such plans.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
are cheapest and easiest form of transportation for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
believe that officials should build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rail
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lines and
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more fund on creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
. While, the opposition says that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
shipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be updated
and budget should be higher for that purpose. I will discuss both views and will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rely on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
to link cities for the fastest train
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
voyage and
they suggest that more income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for this purpose. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
have expired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
paths are necessary for the fastest journey.
Therefore
, more wealth
is required
for the setup of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
among the urban areas. In my view, wage is essential for such projects. For the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
.
For example
, Europe is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
model in this regard and European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railroads and by doing this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
carry.

Few human consensus that wealth should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on updating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
way of transport. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are large journey facilities are already available in the cities for travelling or transport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no need to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
track
paths and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be saved
and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on previous way of shipping. In my observation, earlier means of transport
are outdated
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
now and
they do not fulfil the requirements of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. Previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
are expired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
,
therefore
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spending is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
. As an example, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
and underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
projects, which are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation without ant disturbance.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
are useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
and no need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for such projects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
paths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be created
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for such plans.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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