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TPO 03: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 03: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In this fast-paced generation, people are more likely to be fashion freaks. It is often considered by many people to wear fashionable garments. In this essay I will discuss why this is happening and assert my opinion on why it is not a wise option. To begin with, Fashion is omnipresent without any limitations. Especially youth irrespective of the nations always tends to be fashion freaks because of many reasons. Firstly, Imitation: students prefer to stay classy by following latest designs of their favourite celebrities in order to attract others. secondly, it is often believed by many adults that wearing the latest fashions reflect their social status and this trend is quite common with IT professionals. Lastly, it is mandatory for other section of people such as film actors, rock stars to maintain decent looks as part of their profession. Although, fashion enhances one's looks, It is not necessary to wear fashion clothes. The considerable amount of people argue that Fashion kills traditional wear which reflects the authenticity behind respective religions. Also, in the recent times, Job holders started taking this as a false prestige and spending a lot of money to buy branded costumes irrespective of their financial status. Moreover, they live in a false notion that being trendy would fetch them Job opportunities. for instance, a study found that, graduates tend to buy branded clothes to attend interviews with a mindset of" looks reflect knowledge" which is not true. In conclusion, fashion technology is changing from decade to decade. Individuals in this contemporary world prefer to stay trendy with Innovative costumes. However, in my opinion it is not advisable to wear modern clothes by neglecting their own traditions and spending huge money
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
freaks. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
fashionable garments. In this essay I will discuss why this is happening and assert my opinion on why it is not a wise option.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
is omnipresent without any limitations.
Especially
youth irrespective of the nations always tends to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
freaks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, Imitation: students prefer to stay classy by following
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
designs of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities in order to attract others.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults that wearing the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashions
reflect their social status and this trend is quite common with IT professionals.
Lastly
, it is mandatory for other section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as film actors, rock stars to maintain decent looks as part of their profession.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
enhances one's looks, It is not necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
clothes. The considerable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
kills traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
which reflects the authenticity behind respective religions.
Also
, in the recent times, Job holders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking this as a false prestige and spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded costumes irrespective of their financial status.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a false notion that being trendy would fetch them Job opportunities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, a study found that, graduates tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded clothes to attend interviews with a mindset of
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
looks reflect knowledge
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which is not true.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
technology is changing from decade to decade. Individuals in this contemporary world prefer to stay trendy with Innovative costumes.
However
, in my opinion it is not advisable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
modern clothes by neglecting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions and spending huge money
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 03: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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