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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.9

It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 9
Friendship is a beautiful part of everyone's life. We share most of things with our friends, whether is good or bad. We almost share everything with our true friends. Keeping old friends is important, however some people believe that it is important than making new friends. I disagree with the statement, I believe that making new friends is important because we have friends around you whether they are old or new friends. Sometimes making new friendship is used to find true friends in our life. First, if you develop new friendship, then your life has some changes. You cannot have your friends always with you. If you go to another country or another university is not possible your old friends are always there. So you can make new friends otherwise, your life will be boring without friends or it will hate your life in the new environment. For example, one of my friends, he was poor to make new friends, he is not easily trusting of people. However, when he went into university, he had his friends behind. At the being, he spent a few days without friends, and he has realized that without friend his life has borne. So he started talking with new people make new friends and he enjoyed lot their company and had a great time with them. Thus, you have to make new friends when you move to another place. Second, when you come in contact with the new people, you learn their perspective and the environment. When you talk with new people, you teach more thing about these people, and this help us to find new friends in your life. For instance, when I moved to the United States, I made many friends in my workplace, we often gathered and met at social events and functions. These people are very kind and friendly in the environment. So many of them are my good friends, we share problem with others and they help me to find a solution for them. Thus, you interact with new people, it will possible they have with your friends. Last but not least, I like to mix with the people and enjoy new friends' company. That have lot of fun together. For example, when I was in university, I had lot of new friends. I used to go with them parties, movies and when we were together, we can discuss the different topic that related to political and upcoming new technology to market. This way, I learn lot of things from their knowledge and their viewpoints. So, it will help me to increase my knowledge and have lots of fun with new friends. In conclusion, some people believe that it is more important to keep old friends because it is difficult to trust new people. Nonetheless, I believe that making new friends is important is also necessary, I can’t live in a new place without friends. So, I can make some new friends and enjoyed a new friendship forever. In addition, make new friends does not mean that lose old friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friendship
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
part of everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We share
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the things") or simply say "most things".
most of things
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, whether is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. We almost share everything with our true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I disagree with the statement, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
around you whether they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to find true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in our life.

First
, if you develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
, then your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. You cannot have your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
always with you. If you go to another country or another university is not possible your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are always there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
otherwise
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be boring without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or it will hate your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.
For example
, one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he was poor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he is not
easily
trusting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, when he went into university, he had his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
behind. At the being, he spent a few days without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and he has realized that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has borne.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
he enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and had a great time with them.
Thus
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another place.

Second, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in contact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, you learn their perspective and the environment. When you talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, you teach more thing about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and this
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help us find"?
help us to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the United States, I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in my workplace, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
gathered and met at social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and functions. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
kind and friendly in the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, we share problem with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help me find"?
help me to find
a solution for them.
Thus
, you interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
The word 'possible' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will possible
they have with your friends.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I like to mix with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. That have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of fun together.
For example
, when I was in university, I had
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
them parties, movies and when we were together, we can discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topic that related to political and upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology to market. This way, I learn
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
things from their knowledge and their viewpoints.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to increase my knowledge and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of fun with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult to trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nonetheless, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
is
also
necessary, I can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and enjoyed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
forever.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
does not mean that lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
100Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
511 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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