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It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends Old friends VS New friends v.1

It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends Old friends VS New friends v. 1
Lack of physical activity can add to feelings of anxiety and depression and can lead to several health issues in later age. It is often argued by many that, in today's fast pacing environment usually people will get to do very little or no physical activities, while they are working or when they are not working. As a result, they face a lot of fitness related issues. This essay will explain the possible reasons that why people do not get to do the body workouts and the possible solutions to tackle this issues. Without a doubt, the technology has changed the way we lead our lives and at some point it is putting a negative impact on our lives. Firstly, half of the population around the globe works corporate sector and have a nine to five job hours or sometimes more. Because of a high pressure environment and to get quick promotions and high salaries, most of them have less or zero motivation to do regular workouts. Secondly, the new trend of working from home makes people even more lazy and kills the motivation to do any kind of exercise. Moreover, people just stick to their computers and laptops day and night for work either in their bed or chair instead of going out and doing some kind of physical activities. These are some of the reasons that nowadays people are falling sick easily or having some major health related issues. Motivation is the key to everything. If a person has made up their mind to do something nobody can stop them to that thing. It is very essential to maintain work-life balance. Work is necessary, but at the same time health is also very important. To begin with, we can set up a routine, first, people can go for early morning walks or do yoga, which only takes half an hour to forty five minutes and keeps you refreshed all day long, not only your body but your mind as well. Furthermore, if someone likes to work from home, they have enough time to do work and workout as well. A person can watch meditation or workout videos on YouTube or can make a mini gym in their house instead of going out to do their exercises. In conclusion, when a person starts to think about their bodies and put it on first priority over everything, they can easily start to notice the changes in their physical and mental well-being. People who do regular exercises are more healthier and happy as compared to the one who do not do.
Lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to feelings of anxiety and depression and can lead to several health issues in later age. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pacing environment
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities, while they are working or when they are not working.
As a result
, they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fitness related issues. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the possible reasons that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workouts
and the possible solutions to tackle this issues.

Without a doubt, the technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we lead our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point it is putting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, half of the population around the globe works corporate sector and have a nine to five job hours or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of a high pressure environment and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quick promotions and high salaries, most of them have less or zero motivation to do regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workouts
.
Secondly
, the new trend of working from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even more lazy and kills the motivation to do any kind of exercise.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stick to their computers and laptops day and night for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
either in their bed or chair
instead
of going out and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are falling sick
easily
or having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major health related issues.

Motivation is the key to everything.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
a person has made up their mind to do something nobody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them to that thing. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to maintain work-life balance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
is necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time health is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we can set up a routine,
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go for early morning walks or do yoga, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes half an hour to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
forty five
minutes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you refreshed all day long, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
your body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your mind
as well
.
Furthermore
, if someone likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
as well
. A person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
meditation or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
videos on YouTube or can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mini gym in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of going out to do their exercises.

In conclusion
, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their bodies and put it on
first
priority over everything, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to notice the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who do regular exercises are
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
and happy as compared to the one who do not do.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends Old friends VS New friends v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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