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Formal exams are used to assess student at the end of each semester in many countries. Why are these exams used by school and universities? What are other types of assessments are possible? v.1

Formal exams are used to assess student at the end of each semester in many countries. Why are these exams used by school and universities? What are other types of assessments are possible? v. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be about cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life. On the one hand, some people think that children who learn to compete against each other often do better in school and I agree. In other words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which consequently produces better academic performance and results. For example, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates. Furthermore, being driven to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when, as adults, they must compete against others in the job market. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis at the school is on cooperating with others. As people we do not live, work or socialise apart from others, so learning how to work alongside other people ought to be taught from childhood. Without these skills, children would lack the ability to communicate with each other or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in a constructive way. Another reason why team skills are useful for children is that they learn how to negotiate with others to complete a task. This is an essential skill to learn for their future life. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that children stand a better chance to succeed both in school and later in life if they are encouraged to compete against each other. IELTS Liz
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
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schools
ought to teach
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children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the focus should be about cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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children
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learn
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their future life.

On the one hand,
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
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compete
against each
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other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do
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better
in
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school
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
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other
words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which
consequently
produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
academic performance and results.
For example
, students
generally
apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates.
Furthermore
,
being driven
to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when, as adults, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
against others in the job market.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is
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better
if the emphasis at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is on cooperating with others. As
The comma is probably missing here: "people, we".
people we
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, work or
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
apart from others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
learning how to work alongside
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other
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people
ought to
be taught
from childhood. Without these
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skills
,
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children
would lack the ability to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
. Another reason why team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to negotiate with others to complete a task. This is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
for their future life.

In conclusion
, while
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people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to succeed both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and later in life if they
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. IELTS
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Liz
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Formal exams are used to assess student at the end of each semester in many countries. Why are these exams used by school and universities? What are other types of assessments are possible? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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