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Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v.4

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v. 4
It is true that tourism has become a significant source of the national budget for several countries over the world. Those countries concern and allocate more money to develop the tourism industry in achieving the bigger income as well as the satisfaction of tourists. However, some people show such kind of disagreements to this affirmative action by considering the effect of tourism to the local society culturally and environmentally. I personally believe that this agreement is not truly correct in because of several reasons. This essay aims to show my stance to support the development of tourism and provides several convincing arguments regarding this controversial issue. The first reason is that tourism sector contributes such big income to the country through economic activities run by societies around the tourism places. It is clear that tourism is now becoming an industry that creates thousands of jobs for the citizen in terms of its management, protection as well as promotion. People who have skill in English probably would build a tour and travel business and become a guide. For those who have certain creativity or arts may sell their products of arts in a shop, or people might sell some soft drinks and snack to the tourists. These all economic activities crucially contribute to achieving the goal of government to provide job fields and to give the prosperity of society. The second reason is that developing and promoting tourism object is the most effective way to broadcast the positive-country-image to the global society in order to attract them to come to those countries as tourists or even as investors. Moreover, going to beautiful tourism places has inevitably been a demand for people over the world and it is a kind of “golden chance” for every country to promote the best places in their regions. Let us take Bali Island as an example, which has been successfully promoted and being promoted as the image of a piece of paradise in Indonesia. On the other hand, some local people tend to refuse the policy of the government in developing tourism. The reason is so simple because they consider the harms of tourism development that cause cultural loss and environmental damage. However, I believe that both cultural and environmental protection are the parts of tourism development on how government allocate the budget to tourism sector for creating a clean environment or ecotourism and promoting cultural tourism in which environment and culture are the basis of tourism. All in all, tourism development does not harm the cultural values and environmental parts. Moreover, it supports the existence of local values as well as keeps the environment clean and green.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a significant source of the national budget for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
over the world. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
concern and allocate more money to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry in achieving the bigger income
as well
as the satisfaction of tourists.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
such kind of disagreements to this affirmative action by considering the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to the local society
culturally
and
environmentally
. I
personally
believe that this agreement is not
truly
correct in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This essay aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
my stance to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and provides several convincing arguments regarding this controversial issue.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector contributes such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
through economic activities run by societies around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
places. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming an industry that creates thousands of jobs for the citizen in terms of its management, protection
as well
as promotion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in English
probably
would build a tour and travel business and become a guide. For those who have certain creativity or arts may sell their products of arts in a shop, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might sell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft drinks and snack to the tourists. These all economic activities
crucially
contribute to achieving the goal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide job fields and to give the prosperity of society.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that developing and promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
object is the most effective way to broadcast the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
-country-image to the global society in order to attract them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as tourists or even as investors.
Moreover
, going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
places has
inevitably
been a demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the world and it is a kind of “golden chance” for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to promote the best places in their regions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take Bali Island as an example, which has been
successfully
promoted and
being promoted
as the image of a piece of paradise in Indonesia.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to refuse the policy of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider the harms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
that cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
loss and environmental damage.
However
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and environmental protection are the parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
on how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocate the budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector for creating a clean environment or ecotourism and promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in which environment and culture are the basis of tourism.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
does not harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values and environmental parts.
Moreover
, it supports the existence of local values
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the environment clean and green.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
442 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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