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Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v.2

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v. 2
Recently, there is an ongoing debate about the significant impacts on the economy by thriving tourism industry create further severe problems in local cultures and environment. This essay, as my notion leads to, tries to elaborate this issue as I believe that problems created are inevitable. Firstly, the tourists, whether they are foreigners or local ones, tend to disobey the cultural background of the tourism places. Even though they are well known about the surroundings habit, they consider themselves as guests who are supposed to be served by the local society paying no attentions to the native motives. Secondly, they care less about the environment such as evergreens, rivers, beaches, etc. because they are aware of the government’s existence who has an obligation to maintain a quality environment. To be exact, they just throw the garbage away into inappropriate places. The local people get influenced by the way tourists dress and talk and they also adopt other foreign cultures that are threatening to the local culture. It is often observed that people in tourist area engage their children in work instead of sending them to school and that has a huge impact on the overall growth of the economy and future of a country, especially a third world country. Lastly, they together with stakeholders who are taking an interest, in this case, argue that this industry can lift the nation from economy problem through opening job opportunities or increasing the income of local citizens as well as the government revenue at the same time, but it seems to be irrelevant. The experts revealed that tourism may cause more expenditure in preserving the unique local cultures and also more expenses in taking care of the environment surrounding tourism places, and it costs more than how much a nation can afford from the industry. Having considered all views above, it is fact that tourism sector has positive effects on the economy but the negative impacts are much higher to overcome by money gotten from this particular sector. Hopefully, governments and councils can regulate the industry by taking more concern in all aspects (economy, culture, and environment) to result in the maximum outcome.
Recently, there is an ongoing debate about the significant impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
by thriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry create
further
severe problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This essay, as my notion leads to, tries to elaborate this issue as I believe that problems created are inevitable.

Firstly
, the tourists, whether they are foreigners or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones, tend to disobey the cultural background of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
places.
Even though
they are well known about the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "surroundings'" or "surrounding's"?
surroundings
habit, they consider themselves as guests who
are supposed
to
be served
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
society paying no attentions to the native motives.

Secondly
, they care less about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
such as evergreens, rivers, beaches, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s existence who has an obligation to maintain a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. To be exact, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
throw the garbage away into inappropriate places. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the way tourists dress and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talk and
they
also
adopt other foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
that are threatening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in tourist area engage their children in work
instead
of sending them to school and that has a huge impact on the
overall
growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and future of a country,
especially
a third world country.

Lastly
, they together with stakeholders who are taking an interest,
in this case
, argue that this industry can lift the nation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
problem through opening job opportunities or increasing the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
revenue at the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to be irrelevant. The experts revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
may cause more expenditure in preserving the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
also
more expenses in taking care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
places, and it costs more than how much a nation can afford from the industry.

Having considered all views above, it is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts are much higher to overcome by money gotten from this particular sector.
Hopefully
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and councils can regulate the industry by taking more concern in all aspects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(economy
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment)
to result in the maximum outcome.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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