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tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures amd the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures amd the environment is often ignored. v. 1
Nowadays, in many countries, tourism is a leading sector, which continues to increase in economies every year. However, other people think that tourism can cause some bad effect to environment and traditions of the country. I fully agree with second view. The first reason for this is because increasing the number of people is the main cause polluting the environment. Those influences can be seen clearly. For example, the sea is littered with bottles and soda cans by people on the beaches. This has led to pollute the water and destroy the aquatic ecosystem. Moreover, transport by air, road and water is consciously increasing in response to the rising number tourists. Emission produced by vehicles has negative impacts on the atmosphere, and it would harm to people's health if the level of emission risen too much. In addition to the concern above, I also think that travel can significantly affect regional cultures. That is because of the crush of tourists is ruining material cultural heritages such as old buildings, historic sites, artefacts and so on. Furthermore, visitors can bring in western ways which destroy cultural identity. For example, in Viet Nam, recently some people have drastically asked in order for government to cancel Lunar New Year and merge it with Solar New Year. If those became true, a part of our cultural values would disappear. In conclusion, despite the fact that tourism plays a vital role in the regional development, it still damages to nature and local cultures. Therefore, the government should have reasonable solutions which not only protect the environment and local communities, but also develop travel in the country.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, tourism is a leading sector, which continues to increase in economies every year.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that tourism can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect to environment and traditions of the country. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with second view.

The
first
reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is the main cause polluting the environment. Those influences can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
.
For example
, the sea
is littered
with bottles and soda cans by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the beaches. This has led to pollute the water and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the aquatic ecosystem.
Moreover
, transport by air, road and water is
consciously
increasing in response to the rising number tourists. Emission produced by vehicles has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the atmosphere, and it would harm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health if the level of emission risen too much.

In addition
to the concern above, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that travel can
significantly
affect regional cultures.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the crush of tourists is ruining material cultural heritages such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings, historic sites,
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Furthermore
, visitors can bring in western ways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
cultural identity.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, recently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
drastically
asked in order for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to cancel Lunar New Year and merge it with Solar New Year. If those became true, a part of our cultural values would disappear.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that tourism plays a vital role in the regional development, it
still
damages to nature and local cultures.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have reasonable solutions which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protect the environment and local communities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop travel in the country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures amd the environment is often ignored. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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