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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country. v.8

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country. v. 8
Nowadays, travelling aboard for tourism is becoming popular among people due to multiple factors such as the affordability of travel expenses and the tourism advertisements. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages that tourism can do in any country. To begin with. Tourism has many advantages for the country and the citizens. Firstly, tourism is considered as the main income source for many countries where the economic system is totally depends on it. Therefore; countries are focusing on bringing the attention of the foreigners to come and visit their country, and they develop an advertisement program to show the attractive places and the peace in the country. For example, Jordan runs a wide campaign through the ministry of tourism to bring more tourists to the country. Secondly, as there is a direct benefit to the country, there as an added value for the citizens. They will gain a steady monthly income from the jobs that tourism creates either in the developed cities or rural areas. On the other hand, there are disadvantages for both the society and the government. To commence with, the society will be impacted from the imported habits that foreigners have. The local traditions will be disappearing and the majority of the young generations will adopt the imported cultures. For instance, in the countries where the tourism is encouraged, people forget their traditions and they start following what they call it a modern life. Moreover, Tourism doubled the government expenses to overcome the overload on the infrastructure such as roads and transportation system. Local people start suffering from overcrowd on the main road and the availability of the transportation system, which lead to delay either for work or an important appointment. To sum up, there is no doubt that tourism has a direct economic benefit for the country that contribute to enhance the overall income, it is also has disadvantages that will impact the society traditions and culture. However; promoting for tourism should be studied carefully before launching any program.
Nowadays, travelling aboard for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is becoming popular among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to multiple factors such as the affordability of travel expenses and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
advertisements. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can do in any country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the citizens.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is considered
as the main income source for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the economic system is
totally
depends on it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are focusing on bringing the attention of the foreigners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and they develop an advertisement program to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the attractive places and the peace in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Jordan runs a wide campaign through the ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to bring more tourists to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, as there is a direct benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, there as an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
value for the citizens. They will gain a steady monthly income from the jobs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates either in the developed cities or rural areas.

On the other hand
, there are disadvantages for both the society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. To commence with, the society will
be impacted
from the imported habits that foreigners have. The local traditions will be disappearing and the majority of the young generations will adopt the imported cultures.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is encouraged
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forget their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traditions and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following what they call it a modern life.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
doubled the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expenses to overcome the overload on the infrastructure such as roads and transportation system. Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
suffering from overcrowd on the main road and the availability of the transportation system, which lead to delay either for work or an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
appointment.

To sum up, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has a direct economic benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that contribute to enhance the
overall
income, it is
also
has disadvantages that will impact the society traditions and culture.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; promoting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should
be studied
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
launching any program.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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