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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v.11

Undoubtedly, health experts believe that in the earlier time, the grey hair peeps were living life either much jubilant, while in the present scenario, they are feeling isolation and health ailments. There are numerous reasons behind this problem and certain solutions to tackle this problem which I will highlight in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are plethora of causes why older being are suffering from isolation and health issues. The first and foremost reason is that in the present era, every person has pre-occupied with their work and they have no enough time to spend time with their Kith and kins owing to this, the older being are facing alone and tension as they do not share their feelings with anyone. In addition to more it, in the technical era, the grey hair peeps has glued with electronic gadgets because of this, they have suffered from health issues. Hence, they are not aware toward the detrimental impact of e-tech gadgets on their heath.
Undoubtedly
,
health
experts believe that in the earlier time, the
grey
hair peeps were living life either much jubilant, while in the present scenario, they are feeling isolation and
health
ailments. There are numerous reasons behind this problem and certain solutions to tackle this problem which I will highlight in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are plethora of causes why older being are suffering from isolation and
health
issues. The
first
and foremost reason is that in the present era, every person has
pre-occupied
with their
work and
they have no
enough
time to spend time with their Kith and
kins owing
to this, the older being are facing alone and tension as they do not share their feelings with anyone.
In addition
to more it, in the technical era, the
grey
hair peeps has glued with electronic gadgets
because of this
, they have suffered from
health
issues.
Hence
, they are not aware toward the detrimental impact of e-tech gadgets on their heath.
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IELTS essay Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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