Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v. 108 v.49

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion. v. 108 v. 49
A healthy diet is essential for good health and keeps people fit. In few parts of the worlds many people are ill because having much fast food. Is this necessary to tax these type of meals to prevent health? . This essay disagrees about taxing these foods because Instead of taxing the government can spread awareness about healthy diet and they can reduce prices of fresh fruits and vegetables. On one hand, Authorities could conduct awareness sessions and camp for their countrymen, these types of sessions people would get an idea about the ingredients which they could include in their diet and which foods they can reduce intake of also they will clear about the plethora of healthiest foods available. For example: If people of a particular region eat fast food lot. This enlightenment could make them include good meals and ignore junk items. Moreover, initially there would be some resistance from them, but with proper guidance, there might switch towards their choices. On the other hand, The Government needs to decrease the cost of healthy, fresh items so that more and more people can able to purchase them easily. For instance: In my country, most of the population comes under the poverty line. If prices of these items reduce, they could effort these and keep themselves fit and fine. There was much news came every day that people dying because lack of food so there more than having an unhealthier meal. In conclusion, there are many other ways by which we can avoid the consumption of harmful products. I Would like to highlight that, despite taxing by the government could take some other measurable steps to ensure that the huge amount of crowd can have good meals.
A healthy diet is essential for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fit. In few parts of the worlds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Is this necessary to tax these type of meals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
health?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This essay disagrees about taxing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Instead
of taxing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can spread awareness about healthy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diet and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
prices of fresh fruits and vegetables.

On one hand, Authorities could conduct awareness sessions and camp for their countrymen, these types of sessions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the ingredients which they could include in their diet and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
intake of
also
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
about the plethora of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the healthiest".
healthiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
available.
For example
: If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a particular region eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lot. This enlightenment could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
meals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
junk items.
Moreover
,
initially
there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resistance from them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with proper guidance, there might switch towards their choices.

On the other hand
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
needs to decrease the cost of healthy, fresh items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them
easily
.
For instance
: In my country, most of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
under the poverty line. If prices of these items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, they
The word 'effort' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
could effort
these and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and fine. There was much news came every day that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there more than having an unhealthier meal.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways by which we can avoid the consumption of harmful products. I Would like to highlight that, despite taxing by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other measurable steps to ensure that the huge amount of crowd can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
meals.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion. v. 108 v. 49

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts