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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v.2

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 2
In a modern society, there is no doubt that international tourists bring a lot of positive impact on many countries, while these benefits also come with negative issues. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion. It is undoubtedly true that the primary benefit of encouraging tourism is that it is a profitable source of income for many countries. In other words, tourists provide opportunities for supporting a country economy. One example of these tourists spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services. This way, tourism yields an additional income, greatly supporting the country’s economy. Hence, tourism brings significant benefit such as a boost in a national economy. On the other hand, the rising influx of holidaymakers is associated with increased incidences of crimes and antisocial activities like drugs and gambling, which affect the values of the indigenous society. Moreover, tourism can induce damage to monument and other historical places. This is evidenced by the massive entrance of tourists to places like historical monuments causes significant damage to these age-old structures. Therefore, tourism increases the crimes as well as brings destructive effects on monuments. In my opinion, to attract more foreigners to the country, government and public will make efforts to improve the infrastructure of cities and towns. Furthermore, they become more concerned about retaining the natural resources and conserving the countryside as most visitors enjoy visiting and appreciating the beauty of the countryside. Therefore, it is obvious that encouraging tourism apparently paves the way to protect the environment and its resources from many threats. In conclusion, it can be confidently conveyed that, even though the growth in travel industry has accompanying negative social impacts, these do not outweigh the contributions made by this sector towards social development.
In a modern society, there is no doubt that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, while these benefits
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and provide a logical conclusion.

It is
undoubtedly
true that the primary benefit of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is that it is a profitable source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
provide opportunities for supporting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy. One example of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services. This way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
yields an additional income,
greatly
supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings significant benefit such as a boost in a national economy.

On the other hand
, the rising influx of holidaymakers
is associated
with increased incidences of crimes and antisocial activities like drugs and gambling, which affect the values of the indigenous society.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can induce damage to monument and other historical places. This
is evidenced
by the massive entrance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to places like historical monuments causes significant damage to these age-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
structures.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
increases the crimes
as well
as brings destructive effects on monuments.

In my opinion, to attract more foreigners to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and public will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the infrastructure of cities and towns.
Furthermore
, they become more concerned about retaining the natural resources and conserving the countryside as most visitors enjoy visiting and appreciating the beauty of the countryside.
Therefore
, it is obvious that encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
apparently
paves the way to protect the environment and its resources from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
threats.

In conclusion
, it can be
confidently
conveyed that,
even though
the growth in travel industry has accompanying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
social impacts, these do not outweigh the contributions made by this sector towards social development.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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