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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages? v.4

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages? v. 4
Tourism has become increasingly popular among different countries. Many developed countries considered it as an industry because of its positive impact on the economy. This essay will discuss the benefits and also the drawbacks of this trend. There are numerous advantages of spending money on places in your country which are high in demand among tourists. Firstly it is the source of huge revenue. This means, for countries it is the source of income because many foreigners who visit the country spend a lot of money on hotels, gifts and restaurants. In Pakistan, for instance, most of the revenue generated from northern areas due to this Prime Minister of Pakistan started a new project over there to attract more tourists. Secondly, through this, countries can create their positive image in the whole world. In Dubai, for example, local residents are very friendly and helping over there so that people who visit get so impressed by their behaviour and also encourage others to visit the same. Thus, for these reasons most of the countries give so much importance to it. There are certainly disadvantages attached with tourism. Although tourists bring income to the countries, most of the time they destroy the beauty of the places. In Pakistan, for instance, sea view is considered as the most visited and popular beach side, but due to carelessness of foreigners it deteriorated. While foreigners are very considerate, however, they have developed the bad habits in local children. In India, for example, mostly people are poor so tourists give them money. Due to this they are now dependent only on asking money from them. Therefore, the tourism industry may face detrimental effects due to aforementioned reasons. This essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of visiting sites in different countries. In short, while the benefits are enormous, the drawbacks should not be overlooked.
Tourism has become
increasingly
popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
considered it as an industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the economy. This essay will discuss the benefits and
also
the drawbacks of this trend.

There are numerous advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on places in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which are high in demand among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Firstly
it is the source of huge revenue. This means, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it is the source of income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners who visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on hotels, gifts and restaurants. In Pakistan,
for instance
, most of the revenue generated from northern areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this Prime Minister of Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a new project over there to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Secondly
, through this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can create their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image in the whole world. In Dubai,
for example
, local residents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly and helping over there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
impressed by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
also
encourage others to visit the same.
Thus
, for these reasons most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much importance to it.

There are
certainly
disadvantages attached with tourism. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
bring income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, most of the time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the beauty of the places. In Pakistan,
for instance
, sea view
is considered
as the most visited and popular beach side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to carelessness of foreigners it deteriorated. While foreigners are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
considerate,
however
, they have developed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits in local children. In India,
for example
,
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
dependent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from them.
Therefore
, the tourism industry may face detrimental effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to aforementioned reasons.

This essay discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of visiting sites in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In short, while the benefits are enormous, the drawbacks should not
be overlooked
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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