Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well-being. What are the causes of this? Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions. v.1

Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well-being. What are the causes of this? Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions. v. 1
There is an alarmingly high rate of individuals globally who are unfit mentally and physically. Many people suffer from mood disorders and poor conditioning, which not only leads to a lower quality of life, but also makes individuals vulnerable to environmental pressures. These persons underperformed on a variety of medical indexes such as the Body Mass Index and are susceptible to infection and depression. The most common causes for people to neglect their mental and physical health are working and entertainment, and the solutions are better time and diet management. People do not invest enough time in their well being because of hectic work schedules and lazy entertainment choices. Many hard-working individuals spend 10 to 12 hours at the office five days a week to make ends meet as sustenance costs around the world are skyrocketing. When these people finally have time for themselves, they opt to watch a movie or read a book instead of spending time with loved ones or going to the gym for a workout. This behaviour leads to the eventual deterioration of both mental and physical fitness. According to the World Health Organization, one in every three adults suffers from high blood pressure and being overweight due to lack of exercise and poor diet. Fortunately, there are some very effective solutions to these challenges. A couple of ways to overcome mental and physical weaknesses, and gain attention for a healthy lifestyle are establishing a fitness and diet schedule. This means that individuals should set aside at least one hour a day, five days a week to do exercises such as going for a jog and the gym. Also, people should pay careful attention to record and manage the foods they eat, avoiding unhealthy junk foods, as well as excessive sugar and carbohydrates, while paying attention to eating more greens and fibre. In fact, a recent study by the famous diet program Weight Watchers discovered that people who create monthly fitness and diet routines report an overall high level of satisfaction with both their physical and mental conditioning. Clearly, these are effective measures to counteract the hectic work life and sedentary entertainment choices of people. In conclusion, many people face serious challenges in paying attention to their overall health due to job pressure and sedentary enjoyment. Nevertheless, these obstacles can be met head-on with some dedicated time to managing exercise routines and eating habits. After all, a sound body and mind are fundamental to the overall high quality of life for all humans.
There is an
alarmingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
globally who are unfit mentally and
physically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from mood disorders and poor conditioning, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
leads to a lower quality of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
vulnerable to environmental pressures. These persons underperformed on a variety of medical indexes such as the Body Mass Index and are susceptible to infection and depression. The most common causes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to neglect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health are working and entertainment, and the solutions are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and diet management.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do not invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hectic work schedules and lazy entertainment choices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
spend 10 to 12 hours at the office five days a week to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
as sustenance costs around the world are skyrocketing. When these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finally
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves, they opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie or read a book
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones or going to the gym for a workout. This
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
leads to the eventual deterioration of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness. According to the World Health Organization, one in every three adults suffers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
blood pressure and being overweight due to lack of exercise and poor diet.
Fortunately
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective solutions to these challenges.

A couple of ways to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
weaknesses, and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
for a healthy lifestyle are establishing a fitness and diet schedule. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should set aside at least one hour a day, five days a week to do exercises such as going for a jog and the gym.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to record and manage the foods they eat, avoiding unhealthy junk foods,
as well
as excessive sugar and carbohydrates, while paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to eating more greens and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
. In fact, a recent study by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
diet program Weight Watchers discovered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who create monthly fitness and diet routines report an
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of satisfaction with both their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
conditioning.
Clearly
, these are effective measures to counteract the hectic work life and sedentary entertainment choices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face serious challenges in paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to their
overall
health due to job pressure and sedentary enjoyment.
Nevertheless
, these obstacles can
be met
head-on with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to managing exercise routines and eating habits.
After all
, a sound body and mind are fundamental to the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
quality of life for all humans.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well-being. What are the causes of this? Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts