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Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society v.1

Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society v. 1
It is argued by some that parenting skills are ought to be taught to youngsters at the schools. In my opinion, however, I disregard this idea as it can distract the children from academic studies. The requirements to be a good parent include better communication skills and in-depth understanding of a child's behaviour. To begin with, I consider it unnecessary to teach parenting at schools as it can cause the children to lose focus of main academics. Students can get confused with the knowledge of complex parenting skills rather than concentrating on basic essential subjects. It will negatively affect the academic performance of students. However, parents can set the personal example of parenting to guide youngsters about complexities of being a father and mother, rather than teaching this important subject of life at the schools. Adding further, there are certain important skills which are pre-requisites to be a good parent. Firstly, one ought to have good communication skills to be a good parent. This will enhance the interaction with the children and will enable free discussion between parents and youngsters. For instance, the communication gap between parents and children will force the children to hide their weaknesses from their parents. Secondly, parents should have the ability to understand the child's behaviour and problems. In other words, parents should be able to comprehend the causes behind problems of a child. For example, if a child is afraid of going to school, parents should investigate and try to identify the factors behind this behaviour, whether it is due to academic issues or social circumstances behind this behaviour. In conclusion, parents can be a good source for children to learn parenting rather than teaching it at the schools which can affect the academic performance negatively. Moreover, good parenting can be achieved by improved interaction and better understanding of a child's problem.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are ought to
be taught
to youngsters at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In my opinion,
however
, I disregard this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as it can distract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies. The requirements to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
include better communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and in-depth understanding of a child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I consider it unnecessary to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as it can cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to lose focus of main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. Students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused with the knowledge of complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than concentrating on basic essential subjects. It will
negatively
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance of students.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can set the personal example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
to guide youngsters about complexities of being a father and mother,
rather
than teaching this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject of life at the schools.

Adding
further
, there are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-requisites
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
Firstly
, one ought to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. This will enhance the interaction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and will enable free discussion between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and youngsters.
For instance
, the communication gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will force the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their weaknesses from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have the ability to understand the child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and problems.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be able to comprehend the causes behind problems of a child.
For example
, if a child is afraid of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should investigate and try to identify the factors behind this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, whether it is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
issues or social circumstances behind this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
rather
than teaching it at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance
negatively
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
can
be achieved
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
interaction and better understanding of a child's problem.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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