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Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v.5

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v. 5
Globalization has made tourism acclaimed. Moreover, this industry is prospering constantly. This expansion has been propitious for both individuals and the community for multifarious factors. In this essay we will discuss the benefits for both the shores, and will draw an inference. People enjoy, spend quality time with their family and break the monotony of their routine life. What more a person achieves from his vocational travels? The individual gain is beyond the momentary experience. People who travel get exposed to multicultural environments, hence, they become more flexible in terms of embracing change in their lives, as a result they are more adaptable to the competitive environment. To illustrate, People from retrospect, had a similar ideology to do a particular work, but the current generation, which is more exposed, applies different probabilities for the same problem statement. Having said that, travelling has brought a change in the overall perspective of people, by making them diverse in their thinking and conduct. With individuals, their association also derives the benefit of this business. The nation gets its recognition in the global community because of its distinctive features offered in its tourism. Nonetheless, this industry boosts the economic growth of a country due to the foreign exchange flow that happens, when a tourist visits the country. To illustrate, the economy of few countries like Malaysia, Italy and many more are evidently dependent on their respective tourism. Additionally, for instance India is well known for its historical monuments and numerous attractive geographies offered for its visitors. Therefore, while this business brings recognition to the society, yet, the economy of the nation also get bolstered. To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that travel is an ever flourishing business. Albeit, it benefits individuals by exposing them to the world and making them more flexible to a situation, furthermore, it gives the society an acceptance in the world, besides, generating income for the host country. I personally believe my exposure to different countries and areas has evolved me as a diversified personality.
Globalization has made tourism acclaimed.
Moreover
, this industry is prospering
constantly
. This expansion has been propitious for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the community for multifarious factors. In this essay we will discuss the benefits for both the shores, and will draw an inference.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
enjoy, spend quality time with their family and break the monotony of their routine life. What more a person achieves from his vocational travels? The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
gain is beyond the momentary experience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to multicultural environments,
hence
, they become more flexible in terms of embracing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
as a result
they are more adaptable to the competitive environment. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from retrospect, had a similar ideology to do a particular work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation, which is more exposed, applies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
probabilities for the same problem statement. Having said that, travelling has brought a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
overall
perspective of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, by making them diverse in their thinking and conduct.

With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, their association
also
derives the benefit of this business. The nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
its recognition in the global community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its distinctive features offered in its tourism. Nonetheless, this industry boosts the economic growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to the foreign exchange flow that happens, when a tourist visits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To illustrate, the economy of few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Malaysia, Italy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are
evidently
dependent on their respective tourism.
Additionally
,
for instance
India is well known for its historical monuments and numerous attractive geographies offered for its visitors.
Therefore
, while this business brings recognition to the society,
yet
, the economy of the nation
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bolstered.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that travel is an ever flourishing business. Albeit, it benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
by exposing them to the world and making them more flexible to a situation,
furthermore
, it gives the society an acceptance in the world,
besides
, generating income for the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
personally
believe my exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and areas has evolved me as a diversified personality.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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