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Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e. g. Business, scholarship, etc. ). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e. g. Business, scholarship, etc. ). v. 2
National sport teams and individual athletes need budgets to improve their skills and simultaneously make their countries prominent in various sports fields. Whether this money should be prepared by the ministry or by non-governmental sources to encourage both national sports teams and individual sportsman and sportswoman to represent their rustic well-known has always been discussed. Depending on the conditions, both sides could be effective. Power budget provides an appropriate area for sport, society to help them to raise the country popularity. Athletes take advantage of this wage of being discovered and invested to enhance their abilities. To rephrase it, the suitable condition can be helpful enough for everyone to be recognised as a talented person in one sports field. Furthermore, considering some amount of money by governments specifically for athletes leads citizens towards sports which causes a high range of health in cities. To explain this, when people notice whatever they require for doing exercise is prepared by power accordingly they can be motivated to go forward with sports. Therefore, union budget can be practical to support sports teams and individual athletes represent the provincial. Sport societies can be supported by law to represent countries, however, non-governmental sources can play effective role in this process to encourage athletes to make their nations popular. Non-governmental businesses invest on some talented persons in different field of sports to be more famous. This is to say that when a company spends wage for a team or sometimes for individual sportsman and sportswoman, that actually is struggling to gain some opportunities by being well-known in an agrarian or sometimes over the world. Moreover, non-governmental sources can earn bill by investing on athletes and sports teams. To explain this, when their teams and athletes are successful, other countries want to contract with them and pay a lot for each sport player. As a result, non-governmental sources can be useful to support sports teams and individual athlete to make their countries popular duo to this fact that they take advantage from to sports achievements. In the final analysis, both governmental and nongovernmental resources could be effective to support international athletes. But it is worth mentioning that the fame and income gained by personal companies should not overshadow the talent hunting process and health of the society.
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
need budgets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
simultaneously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prominent in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fields. Whether this money should
be prepared
by the ministry or by non-governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to encourage both national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
sportsman and sportswoman to represent their rustic well-known has always
been discussed
. Depending on the conditions, both sides could be effective.

Power budget provides an appropriate area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
popularity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Athletes
take advantage of this wage of
being discovered
and invested to enhance their abilities. To rephrase it, the suitable condition can be helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for everyone to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as a talented person in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field.
Furthermore
, considering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
specifically
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
leads citizens towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which causes a high range of health in cities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
notice whatever they require for doing exercise
is prepared
by power
accordingly
they can
be motivated
to go forward with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Therefore
, union budget can be practical to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
represent the provincial.

Sport societies can
be supported
by law to represent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
however
, non-governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can play effective role in this process to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their nations popular. Non-governmental businesses invest on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talented persons in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. This is to say that when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
spends wage for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
sportsman and sportswoman, that actually is struggling to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities by being well-known in an agrarian or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
over the world.
Moreover
, non-governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can earn bill by investing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are successful, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
want to contract with them and pay a lot for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
player.
As a result
, non-governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can be useful to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
popular duo to this fact that they take advantage from to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
achievements.

In the final analysis, both governmental and nongovernmental resources could be effective to support international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is worth mentioning that the fame and income gained by personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should not overshadow the talent hunting process and health of the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e. g. Business, scholarship, etc. ). v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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