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Tourism is a valuable business for many countries and can bring them many benefits, but it can also cause damage to local communities. discuss the arguments on both sides of the issue. what is your opinion on the matter? Give reasons for your answer and in v.2

Tourism is a valuable business for many countries and can bring them many benefits, but it can also cause damage to local communities. discuss the arguments on both sides of the issue. what is your opinion on the matter? 2
tourism is a valuable business for many countries, and can bring them many benefits, but also cause damage to local communities. I believed that tourism should have two majors factor involved. Nowadays, the world has many countries development, so the poor countries and other countries are not yet developed and need to help. that is one of the reasons why they have tourism there. Firstly, tourism comes to the country and made a lot of jobs for local people, the amount of professional for the country. Secondly, the local government has funds from taxes of travel agency. And additionally, the information of the local can be PR for other places and to widely people know about the local. When someone visited here, they always want to go to beautiful places. For this reason, the landscape is better looked after. Next, tourism help improves the overall levels of economic in the local, make the opportunities for cooperation in other areas. In contrast, the local has developed tourism entails many negative impacts on all aspects. For example one of the problems are about the environment, social, traffic, . . . As a result, social evils appear more and more, the natural landscape is destroyed and pollution to some issue about the traffic jam. Because the number of people using transport means increase. In conclusion, there are strong arguments on both sides of this debate. tourism creative many occasion developed for the local, while travel organizes damage to social. In my opinion, I feel that tourism should grow more and the local government must take management measures to limit negative impacts on communities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tourism
is a valuable business for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and can bring them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities. I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should have two majors factor involved.

Nowadays, the world has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not
yet
developed and need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is one of the reasons why they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
there.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the amount of professional for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has funds from taxes of travel agency. And
additionally
, the information of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
can be PR for other places and to
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
. When someone visited here, they always want to go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
places.
For this reason
, the landscape is better looked after.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
overall
levels of economic in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opportunities for cooperation in other areas.

In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
has developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
entails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on all aspects.
For example
one of the problems are about the environment, social, traffic
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
As a result
, social evils appear more and more, the natural landscape is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and pollution to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issue about the traffic jam.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using transport means increase.

In conclusion
, there are strong arguments on both sides of this debate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tourism
creative
Possible agreement error. The noun occasion seems to be countable; consider using: "many occasions".
many occasion
developed for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
, while travel organizes damage to social. In my opinion, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should grow more and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take management measures to limit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on communities.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is a valuable business for many countries and can bring them many benefits, but it can also cause damage to local communities. discuss the arguments on both sides of the issue. what is your opinion on the matter? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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