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TPO12It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v.2

TPO12It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2
Being informed about academic subjects and having broad knowledge in many fields play a prominent role in people' s success. It comes as no surprise that efforts to finding the best knowledges for being successful in today' s world have been always among the top priorities. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether it is better for people to specialize in one area or they should enhance their knowledge in different realms. I, to a great extent, concur with the idea that it is far better for people to have various knowledges. The rationale behind this thesis will be elaborated by the most outstanding reasons. The first exquisite point that makes me hold this belief is that people who have broader knowledge feel more self-confidence and self-respect. It goes without saying that knowledgeable people are encouraged by other people and praised which helps them improve their confidence and power. Self-confidence is one of the momentous factors for prosperous. Perhaps a more specific example can shed more light on the matter. When I was in the university, I had a friends named Sam. He was very shy at first, but he was really knowledgeable. He was familiar with different knowledges in various fields, so he could speak appropriately in different meeting. Other people always encourage him; thus, his self-confidence surprisingly improve after few months and he became a sociable person. He could quickly find a decent job after graduation since he felt really confidence and power. Another reason deserving some words here is that knowledgeable people have more job opportunities rather than people specializing in one area. Without any shadows of doubt, there are many careers in every country that people are more inclined to continue this kind of jobs because of their prestige, salary and many other factors. After a while, these professions are saturated, and they have not any capacity for accepting new employees. In this circumstance, the people are successful who have different knowledge to seek other jobs. As I remember, when I wanted to start university, there were many job opportunity for Electrical Engineers. Thus, I was inclined to continue my study in this field. Fortunately, my parents forced me to study data analysis as a second major alongside my Electrical Engineering. After my graduation, the careers in Electrical field are saturated, but I could find a great job in Instagram Company as a data analyst. Had I not study data analysis, I would not have had any choices for my employment. Finally, yet importantly, people who have broad knowledge of many subjects have broaden relationships as well. When people join classes in different subjects, they get familiar with various people with different attitudes and considerations. They can improve their social skills since they figure out how to behave with various people in different situation. This abilities helps them in their future job especially in today' s world which needs broad communicational skills. For example, when I studied data analysis besides engineering, I knew that concerns and viewpoints of engineers is totally different from data analysts which almost all of them were business people. I learned how to behave with these two groups of people since my social skills had improved during those days. In conclusion, contemplating all the aforementioned paragraphs, one can soon realize that having broad knowledge of many academic subjects is far better than specializing in one realm since not only does it improve people' s confidence, but also people have more job opportunities and it can improve their social skills.
Being informed
about academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
play a prominent role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s success. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as no surprise that efforts to finding the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
for being successful in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world have been always among the top priorities. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this issue is whether it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to specialize in one
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
area or
they should enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
realms. I, to a great extent, concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is far better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
. The rationale behind this thesis will
be elaborated
by the most outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me hold this belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have broader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
feel more self-confidence and self-respect. It goes without saying that knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and praised which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their confidence and power. Self-confidence is one of the momentous factors for prosperous. Perhaps a more specific example can shed more light on the matter. When I was in the university, I had a friends named Sam. He was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was
really
knowledgeable. He was familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he could speak
appropriately
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
meeting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always encourage him;
thus
, his self-confidence
surprisingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
after few
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
he became a sociable person. He could
quickly
find a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduation since he felt
really
confidence and power.

Another reason deserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specializing in one area. Without any shadows of doubt, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
careers in every country that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more inclined to continue this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their prestige, salary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors. After a while, these professions
are saturated
, and they have not any capacity for accepting new employees. In this circumstance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are successful who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. As I remember, when I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
university, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity for Electrical Engineers.
Thus
, I
was inclined
to continue my study in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Fortunately
, my parents forced me to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis as a second major alongside my Electrical Engineering. After my graduation, the careers in Electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
are saturated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could find a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in Instagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analyst. Had I not study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis, I would not have had any choices for my employment.

Finally
,
yet
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have
Use past participle here: "broadened".
broaden
relationships
as well
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
attitudes and considerations. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
since they figure out how to behave with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
situation.
Did you mean "these"?
This
abilities
You should probably use "help".
helps
them in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
especially
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world which needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broad
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, when I studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis
besides
engineering, I knew that concerns and viewpoints of engineers is
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysts which almost all of them were business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I learned how to behave with these two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since my social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
during those days.

In conclusion
, contemplating all the aforementioned paragraphs, one can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realize that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is far better than specializing in one realm since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
78Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO12It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
592 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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