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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 3
Substantive issues which folding now about the businesses created by the supermarket and contemporary stores which are generating livelihood by the compact communities taking and giving. It is true competition can't happen among large with tiny shops. Consequent will be discussed between both points of view. On one end cover the developing countries where the public visits the supermarket to gather the whole home needed things in one place. By this saving major time and procuring all the needed items for a month. In these countries, local businesses less and worked as different and distinct selling of goods which they can't search at mega shopping malls. In spite, supermarkets affect rapidly in developing countries, where countryside people open shop and supply goods, items and glossary and dairy products which easy to get at reasonable prices. This can be equally pleasant in the promotion of economic growth. On the other hand, some nations called farming countries, farmers ready to expand funding by selling in local markets near to them. However, achieving plenty amount of the margin of exchanging products, if selling in the supermarket then the margin will also reduce. Besides the local occupation effect largely because of incompetence with a more massive enterprise. The country's development in the suburban area equally affects which directly weakens the growth of a nation. As the closure of the local profession, communities will hang themselves because of debt increase on them. By all this, it deteriorated the GDP, recession will rise in the market. The conclusions about the two paraphrases that, the expansion of a supermarket can't happen in a year, it’s a time-bound process where all members have to work with each other.
Substantive issues which folding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
about the businesses created by the supermarket and contemporary stores which are generating livelihood by the compact communities taking and giving. It is true competition can't happen among large with tiny shops. Consequent will
be discussed
between both points of view.

On one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
cover the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the public visits the supermarket to gather the whole home needed things in one place. By this saving major time and procuring all the needed items for a month. In these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses less and worked as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and distinct selling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which they can't search at mega shopping malls. In spite, supermarkets affect
rapidly
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, where countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
open shop and supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, items and glossary and dairy products which easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at reasonable prices. This can be
equally
pleasant in the promotion of economic growth.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations called farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, farmers ready to expand funding by selling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets near to them.
However
, achieving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
amount of the margin of exchanging products, if selling in the supermarket then the margin will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
occupation effect
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of incompetence with a more massive enterprise. The country's development in the suburban area
equally
affects which
directly
weakens the growth of a nation. As the closure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
profession, communities will hang themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of debt increase on them. By all this, it deteriorated the GDP, recession will rise in the market.

The conclusions about the two paraphrases that, the expansion of a supermarket can't happen in a year, it’s a time-bound process where all members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work with each other.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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