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Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted discuss the statement and give solutions for its importance is the motion. v.1

Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted discuss the statement and give solutions for its importance is the motion. v. 1
The importance of tourism and its promotion, which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, and the promotion of tourism appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favouring the positive impacts of this friend impacts thus will lead to a logical conclusion. Analysing the statements and explaining further, the first and the foremost reason behind this is that the promotion of tourism will make the nation progressive socially and economically. Considering the social aspect, it will develop International relations, and economically it will generate job opportunities by increasing per capita income. Another striking benefit in this regard is that tourism increases cultural tolerance among the people. Categorically speaking, discussing it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind this is that tourism gives the name and fame to the country. Probing ahead, one of the underlying solutions stems from the fact that tourism is the backbone of the country, so it should be the government’s top priority. The system of law and order should be strictly implemented so the tourist feels safe about his life. Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that proper facilities like transportation, hotels should be given to the tourists apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly stated that tourism has uncountable benefits. To recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of the tourism are too great to be ignored. It is an individual's responsibility of people not to cheat the tourists and provide them all the comforts so that they revisit
The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and its promotion, which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, and the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
appears to be more rational. This essay will
further
elaborate my views for
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of this friend impacts
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the statements and explaining
further
, the
first
and the foremost reason behind this is that the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the nation progressive
socially
and
economically
. Considering the social aspect, it will develop International relations, and
economically
it will generate job opportunities by increasing per capita income. Another striking benefit in this regard is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
increases cultural tolerance among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Categorically
speaking, discussing it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that the main reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
gives the name and fame to the country.

Probing ahead, one of the underlying solutions stems from the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the backbone of the country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s top priority. The system of law and order should be
strictly
implemented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the tourist feels safe about his life. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that proper facilities like transportation, hotels should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the tourists apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be
clearly
stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has uncountable benefits.

To recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are too great to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. It is an individual's responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not to cheat the tourists and provide them all the comforts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
revisit
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted discuss the statement and give solutions for its importance is the motion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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