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Topic#42 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.2

Topic#42 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 2
Twenty years ago, if you had asked a person what do they think was the most important skill to be successful in the world, you would have gotten a variety of answers. If you ask a person who is about my age the same question, persumably, eight out of ten will give the same answer as computer skill is the most important skill that a person should learn. Why do I think computer skill is the most important skill? The major reasons are as follows. First, computer skills such as operating a word processing software package or typing are convenient and efficient. For example, it goes without saying that I am writing this essay by using a computer. If I do not have computer skill, I can not make a composition as quickly as possible; maybe I can only write on paper. Another vivid example is that many colleges is offering online classes for student to choose, which means the students can study in the comfort of their homes and acquire their knowledge by means of using computer at home. Secondly, computer is one of the most important tools for teaching and communicating between teachers and students. Recently, school teachers have an increasingly demand on students to turning in their papers or school works, and the teachers can score on line. If the teacher has a assignment, they just send an e-mail to the students. In addtion, many young people use computers to communicate with each other. They use online chat rooms, messengers and so on. They even play online games through the Internet. Therefore computer skills are very important for students to communicate with their teachers and fellow students. Last but not least, computer skill helps people to find a good job after they graduate. As we open newspapers and search for a good job, we can find that computer skill is a required skill for nearly every job. Indeed, whether you work as a receptionest, salesperson, warehouse manager and office clerk, you have to operate a computer and therefore computer skill is absolutely neccessary for these jobs and most others. Although there are many other important skills for a person to succeed in today' s world, judging from what I have mentioned above, I think my point of view is solid and sound. Having computer skill is one of the most important thing in today' s world.
Twenty years ago, if you had asked a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
what do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
was the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to be successful in the world, you would have gotten a variety of answers. If you ask a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is about my age the same question,
Possible spelling mistake found.
persumably
, eight out of ten will give the same answer as computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should learn. Why do I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
? The major reasons are as follows.

First
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as operating a word processing software package or typing are convenient and efficient.
For example
, it goes without saying that I am writing this essay by using a computer. If I do not have computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, I can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a composition as
quickly
as possible; maybe I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
write on paper. Another vivid example is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges is offering online classes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to choose, which means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can study in the comfort of their homes and acquire their knowledge by means of using computer at home.

Secondly
, computer is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
tools for teaching and communicating between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Recently, school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have an
You used an adverb ('increasingly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('demand') instead of another adjective.
increasingly demand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to turning in their papers or school works, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can score on line. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
assignment, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an e-mail to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
addtion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers to communicate with each other. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
online chat rooms, messengers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They even play online games through the Internet.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and fellow students.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, computer
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skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after they graduate. As we open newspapers and search for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, we can find that computer
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skill
is a required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
for
nearly
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Indeed
, whether you work as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
receptionest
, salesperson, warehouse manager and office clerk, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
operate a computer and
therefore
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
absolutely
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and most others.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to succeed in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world, judging from what I have mentioned above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
my point of view is solid and sound. Having computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'thing' should be used.
thing
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic#42 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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