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What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.1

What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1
Over the last few years, there has been a significant increase in the number of people travelling to inhabitable or hostile places. Most of them are driven by a passion to achieve something that few others have been able to achieve. They want to experience the adrenaline rush that such expeditions bring on. Travelling to difficult places has both advantages and disadvantages. One of the biggest benefits of undertaking difficult journeys is that they improve one’s confidence in one’s abilities. While the journey can be physically and mentally exhausting, the exhilaration that one experiences upon its successful completion is not something that can be described in mere words. It is this need to test one’s limits that propelled sailors like Magellan and Columbus to sail around the world and discover unknown lands. It is this need to conquer the unknown that encourages people to climb mountains. And there are many takers for this trend. Adventure tourism is growing by leaps and bounds. People are aware of the risks, yet they want to experience the thrill. So, they set out on difficult journeys. On the flip side, difficult journeys can be extremely dangerous. Things can go against our plans. Lots of travellers have died while trekking difficult mountains or rafting in turbulent rivers. There are also many adventure travellers who sustain serious injuries that leave them immobile for the rest of their lives. Another drawback of such journeys is that if the travellers go missing or find themselves in trouble, the governments may have to launch costly rescue operations. To conclude, difficult journeys are extremely thrilling. They are equally dangerous; yet many people undertake them because they want to test their limits and conquer the unknown.
Over the last few years, there has been a significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to inhabitable or hostile places. Most of them
are driven
by a passion to achieve something that few others have been able to achieve. They want to experience the adrenaline rush that such expeditions bring on.

Travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
places has both advantages and disadvantages. One of the biggest benefits of undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one’s confidence in one’s abilities. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
can be
physically
and mentally exhausting, the exhilaration that one experiences upon its successful completion is not something that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in mere words. It is this need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
one’s limits that propelled sailors like Magellan and Columbus to sail around the world and discover unknown lands. It is this need to conquer the unknown that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to climb mountains. And there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
takers for this trend. Adventure tourism is growing by leaps and bounds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
yet
they want to experience the thrill.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they set out on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
journeys.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. Things can go against our plans. Lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
while trekking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
mountains or rafting in turbulent rivers. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adventure
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
who sustain serious injuries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them immobile for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another drawback of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
is that if the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
go missing or find themselves in trouble, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
launch costly rescue operations.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
are
extremely
thrilling. They are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
;
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
undertake them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their limits and conquer the unknown.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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