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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be successful, a business must spend a lot of money on advertising. v.428

To be successful, a business must spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 428
Nobody can overlook the fact that in this progressive and modernized world, where we live, there is a tremendous amount of competition among businesses to gain more popularity and become successful. Some people hold the opinion that one way toward their success is spending a considerable amount of money on advertising, some others stand at the other end of the continuum and believe the other factors are more important. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter group and the justifications that substantiate my point of view are elaborated hereupon. To begin with, to acquire success, businessmen should pay more attention to the quality of their products. In other words, If a company applies effective strategies for advertisement and spend a significant amount of money on it, but do not concentrate on how is the quality and utility of their product, they will not succeed. In my opinion, the most crucial factor in business popularity and success is the customers` satisfaction, and without this factor, business failure is probable. For example, about three years ago, a food company used appealing packaging for their products, and also order tv program-makers to make fascinating tv commercials for them. However, their food products had not been prepared with high-quality ingredients and did not delicious. As a result, they could not become popular because of the lack of quality. Furthermore, another critical factor for business success is maintaining the precious human resources. To be more specific, if a company lose their best and most productive staff, nothing else can guarantee its survival because the quality of a company`s services is depended on workforce skills. I mean the staff`s skills make a company well-known. For instance, we have a great oil company in Iran that employ just well-educated people because they always try to improve their products` quality that requires a great deal of creativity and intelligence. And as the company knows its success could not be achieved without the diligence of the workforces, always try to keep its personnel satisfied and made them convinced by offering them a lot of bonus. In conclusion, having the aforementioned reasons into account, I am of the mind that paying a lot of money on advertisement can not assure the success of a business, and the other factors like quality and valuable human resources are more important.
Nobody can overlook the fact that in this progressive and modernized world, where we
live
, there is a tremendous amount of competition among
businesses
to gain more popularity and become successful.
Some
people
hold the opinion that one way toward their
success
is spending a considerable amount of money on advertising,
some
others stand at the
other
end
of the continuum and believe the
other
factors
are more
important
. As far as I
am concerned
, I
agree
with the latter group and the justifications that substantiate my point of view
are elaborated
hereupon.

To
begin
with, to acquire
success
, businessmen should pay more attention to the
quality
of their
products
. In
other
words, If a
company
applies effective strategies for advertisement and spend a significant amount of money on it,
but
do not concentrate on how is the
quality
and utility of their
product
, they will not succeed. In my opinion, the most crucial
factor
in
business
popularity and
success
is the customers` satisfaction, and without this
factor
,
business
failure is probable.
For example
, about three years ago, a food
company
used
appealing packaging for their
products
, and
also
order
tv
program-makers to
make
fascinating
tv
commercials for them.
However
, their food
products
had not
been prepared
with high-quality ingredients and did not delicious.
As a result
, they could not become popular
because
of the lack of quality.

Furthermore
, another critical
factor
for
business
success
is maintaining the precious human resources. To be more specific, if a
company
lose their best and most productive staff, nothing else can guarantee its survival
because
the
quality
of a
company`s
services
is depended
on workforce
skills
. I mean the
staff`s
skills
make
a
company
well-known.
For instance
, we have a great oil
company
in Iran that employ
just
well-educated
people
because
they always try to
improve
their
products`
quality
that requires a great deal of creativity and intelligence. And as the
company
knows its
success
could not
be achieved
without the diligence of the
workforces
, always try to
keep
its personnel satisfied and made them convinced by offering them
a lot of bonus
.

In conclusion
, having the aforementioned reasons into account, I am of the mind that paying
a lot of
money on advertisement can not assure the
success
of a
business
, and the
other
factors
like
quality
and valuable human resources are more
important
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay To be successful, a business must spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 428

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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