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Topic: Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Topic: Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
There is no scepticism that Schools and varsities play indispensable role in the development of Learners. In the modern epoch majority of women shows their interest towards arts subjects while male students pursue their study of science field. However, I tend to believe that this tendency has various reasons and it should be modified which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark with, the first pertinent reason behind this phenomenon is a lack of interest, to elaborate further, most of the girls think that science subjects are monotonous in which they may feel boring. Apart from it, family pressure is another noteworthy cause, to explain it further, most of caretakers forced boys to indulge in medical or engineering field because these courses has wide scope all over the world and they can get more opportunities in work in distinct sectors, to cite an example, a survey presented by BBC news channel revealed that 75% of men chose medical stream due to family pressure. Hence, its result as the boys get fails in that streams and they may not get flying colours. On the contrary side, albeit this trend proved fruitful for students upto some extent, but this trend should be changed as girls are also keenly interested in the medical field and it is the liability of parents that they support their children to choose subjects according to their interest, if they select their subjects. By self then they will get good grades. What is more, in the contemporary era, there is no discrimination between both genders so they have the freedom to continue their study equally in the society. To conclude it, although gender stereotype still. Influencing the choice of study, but this movement must be changed as every student should choose their subject in which they are most interested.
There is no
scepticism
that Schools and varsities play indispensable role in the development of Learners. In the modern epoch majority of women
shows
their interest towards arts
subjects
while male students pursue their study of science field.
However
, I tend to believe that this tendency has various reasons and it should
be modified
which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

To embark with, the
first
pertinent reason behind this phenomenon is a lack of interest, to elaborate
further
, most of the girls
think
that science
subjects
are monotonous in which they may feel boring. Apart from it, family pressure is another noteworthy cause, to
explain
it
further
,
most of caretakers
forced boys to indulge in medical or engineering field
because
these courses has wide scope all over the
world and
they can
get
more opportunities in work in distinct sectors, to cite an example, a survey presented by BBC news channel revealed that 75% of
men
chose medical stream due to family pressure.
Hence
, its result as the boys
get
fails in that
streams and
they may not
get
flying
colours
.

On the contrary
side, albeit this trend proved fruitful for students
upto
some
extent,
but
this trend should be
changed
as girls are
also
keenly
interested in the medical field and it is the liability of parents that they support their children to choose
subjects
according to their interest, if they select their
subjects
. By self then they will
get
good
grades.
What is more
, in the contemporary era, there is no discrimination between both genders
so
they have the freedom to continue their study
equally
in the society.

To conclude
it, although gender stereotype
still
. Influencing the choice of study,
but
this movement
must
be
changed
as every student should choose their
subject
in which they are most interested.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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