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Some believe that students should be taught how to compete while others say that they should be taught to cooperate. What is your opinion? v.1

Some believe that students should be taught how to compete while others say that they should be taught to cooperate. What is your opinion? v. 1
One part of population supposes that father and mother have to educate their offspring how to be auspicious and well-mannered participant of community. At the same time, the second part of the population, claims that educational establishments are responsible for that. I would like to mention that parents undoubtedly play an essential role in the life of every person, regardless of whether you are a kid or an adult. They always give us the numerous amount of pieces of advice in any circumstances during the lifetime which may influence on our final decisions. It is well known that surroundings opinions about us are formed straightforward from our actions. As an example, in my family, commencing from childhood, my parents taught me to respect adults and speak with them quite politely. As a result, this kind of upbringing has built in me an appropriate attitude to the individuals around me. Talking about social behaviour I cannot note that schools possess a significant effect on students. Nowadays, many parents operate throughout the daytime period and do not have an opportunity to spend an adequate quantity of time with their children. In this case, a correct youngsters' adaptation into public life should be undertaken by training academies. For instance, in my school additional debate courses were implemented after general lessons. There we were able to learn how to defend and advocate our points of view in a right and a proper manner with no disrespect with each other. Additionally, I presume that this skill have helped to me and my classmates in our mature life. In conclusion, taking everything aforementioned into account I may assume that, definitely, parents are the main tutors in our lives and only they can instruct us in a right way how to communicate with people. However, we should not, involuntarily, exclude a considerable share of teachers at school since they might teach us what parents may not. Eventually, I would say that if we want a child grow with a right demeanour this two institutions have to work cooperatively.
One part of population supposes that father and mother
have to
educate their offspring how to be auspicious and well-mannered participant of community. At the same time, the second part of the population, claims that educational establishments are responsible for that.

I would like to mention that
parents
undoubtedly
play an essential role in the life of every person, regardless of whether you are a kid or an adult. They always give us the numerous amount of pieces of advice in any circumstances during the lifetime which may influence on our final decisions. It is well known that surroundings opinions about us
are formed
straightforward from our actions. As an example, in my family, commencing from childhood, my
parents
taught me to respect adults and speak with them quite
politely
.
As a result
, this kind of upbringing has built in me an appropriate attitude to
the individuals around me
.

Talking about social
behaviour
I cannot note that schools possess a significant effect on students. Nowadays,
many
parents
operate throughout the daytime period and do not have an opportunity to spend an adequate quantity of time with their children.
In this case
, a correct youngsters' adaptation into public life should be undertaken by training academies.
For instance
, in my school additional debate courses
were implemented
after general lessons. There we were able to learn how to defend and advocate our points of view in a right and a proper manner with no disrespect with each other.
Additionally
, I presume that this
skill
have
helped
to me and my classmates in our mature life.

In conclusion
, taking everything aforementioned into account I may assume that, definitely,
parents
are the main tutors in our
lives
and
only
they can instruct us
in a right way
how to communicate with
people
.
However
, we should not,
involuntarily
, exclude a considerable share of teachers at school since they might teach us what
parents
may not.
Eventually
, I would say that if we want a child grow with a right
demeanour
this two institutions
have to
work
cooperatively
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that students should be taught how to compete while others say that they should be taught to cooperate. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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