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Topic: Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Topic: Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 1
It is argued that students should spend time learning educational lessons rather than studying soft skills at school. Although I agree that academic subjects play a significant role in result measurements, I believe that life skills are essential for learners' development. On the one hand, there is a plethora of reasons why educators should pay attention to impart the academic information for students. First of all, educational lessons give learners more opportunities on having a good mark. In addition, not only do students pass examinations but also gain the chance to apply for the prestigious education such as Harvard University, Oxford university, and University of Cambridge. Secondly, by teaching academic knowledge, schools may make a contribution to successful career path of learners. For instant, when it comes to the high competition recruitment in a company, a person who have the larger knowledge in school than others will be able to obtain intensive works. On the other hand, training learners life skills at school have a wide range of benefits. It is worth considering as an useful way to orient students early what they would have to become in the future. For example, some students find their talent in other aspects such as dressing or cooking besides studying subjects at school, so that practical skills can be considered as a choice for those who are disconcerted to occupations. Additionally, apprentice lessons assist students acquiring more diverse information in life. To illustrate, when learners are trained practical skills, those will be taught delicious recipes which can be cooked for their family, and guided how to use the sewing machine. In conclusion, it is true that teaching academic subjects has obvious advantages for students, I believe that practical skills have an important role in the orientation of learners.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend time learning educational lessons
rather
than studying soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects play a significant role in result measurements, I believe that life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are essential for learners' development.

On the one hand, there is a plethora of reasons why educators should pay attention to impart the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
information for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, educational lessons give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
more opportunities on having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mark.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pass examinations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gain the chance to apply for the prestigious education such as Harvard University, Oxford university, and University of Cambridge.
Secondly
, by teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to successful career path of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
. For instant, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the high competition recruitment in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, a person who have the larger knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
than others will be able to obtain intensive works.

On the other hand
, training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have a wide range of benefits. It is worth considering as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
useful way to orient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
early what they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
become in the future.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find their talent in other aspects such as dressing or cooking
besides
studying subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
be considered
as a choice for those who
are disconcerted
to occupations.
Additionally
, apprentice lessons assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
acquiring more diverse information in life. To illustrate, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
are trained
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, those will
be taught
delicious recipes which can
be cooked
for their family, and guided how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the sewing machine.

In conclusion
, it is true that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects has obvious advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I believe that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the orientation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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