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STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE/DISAGREE v.3

STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. 3
Some people believe that students should be given academic knowledge to take the examination results and should be given skills such as cookery and dressing. From my personal perspective, I completely dissatisfied with this opinion and several reasons will be put forward to prove my view in the following paragraphs To begin with, it is clear that academic backgrounds are no substitute for essential living skills. Take the academic knowledge stands an requisite role in student’s study and work, likewise the ability to cook and dress up in the life style. Next, academic subjects supply students basic knowledge which will be lead to the third education system. On the other hand, without a deep understanding students may fail the exams and have to study these subjects again, which it is required spare time and finance. However, dressing, has a major impact of student’s image. So that they should be taught at school as subjects. Second reason is why students still need to learn practical skills are shown the environmental requirement. To illustrate, many school children who far from their families usually need life skills as cooking will be helpful to prepare meals on their own instead of eating out at caffé and restaurants. As a result, many people suffer obesity at early age. Therefore, it is responsibility of school to provide the student with soft skills. In conclusion, despite academic curriculum is needed to conduct simple examinations, skills such as cooking and dressing should be the focus of students as they have a serious impact on their lives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge to take the examination results and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cookery and dressing. From my personal perspective, I completely dissatisfied with this opinion and several reasons will
be put
forward to prove my view in the following
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
backgrounds are no substitute for essential living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge stands
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
requisite role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
study and work,
likewise
the ability to cook and dress up in the life style.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
basic knowledge which will be lead to the third education system.
On the other hand
, without a deep understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may fail the exams and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study these subjects again, which it
is required
spare time and finance.
However
, dressing, has a major impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
image.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they should
be taught
at school as subjects.

Second reason is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
need to learn practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are shown
the environmental requirement. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school children who far from their families
usually
need life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as cooking will be helpful to prepare meals on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
instead
of eating out at
Possible spelling mistake found.
caffé
and restaurants.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer obesity at early age.
Therefore
, it is responsibility of school to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculum
is needed
to conduct simple examinations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking and dressing should be the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as they have a serious impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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