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Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 1
There is a popular saying that health is wealth. While some people may argue that good health care do not guarantee healthy liveness, I am of the opinion that the quality of available health care facilities contributes tremendously to the well being of the populace. This essay will discuss both views. My reasons are not far fetched. Firstly, medical facilities put in place to provide the required care in the times of need, assist to provide the assurances of prompt medical attention; hence improving the chances of survival. For example, about 30 percent of rural women in Nigeria die during childbirth as a result of non availability of facilities which should have ensured regular antenatal and postnatal care. Similarly, there is a 27 percent death rate arising from road accidents in Nigeria as a result of non availability of paramedics in most of the cities in the country. In addition, properly equipped diagnostic laboratories help with an understanding of the health condition of patients before the illness gets to advanced stages where it becomes difficult to curtail. For instance, 20 percent mortality rate for cancer patients in Malawi is attributable to late detection. Conversely, some folks are of the view that no matter how well hospitals are, human beings are destined to die. This spans from religious believes that death is compulsory for all mortals. An example is the fact that even the doctors who give care to patients also die eventually. In summary, adequate and proper health care enhances the quality of lives. It helps to reveal the status of patients in good time. Thus providing the opportunity for swift response and referrals to facilities with experienced personnels with professional expertise.
There is a popular saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is wealth. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
do not guarantee healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
liveness
, I am of the opinion that the quality of available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities contributes
tremendously
to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the populace. This essay will discuss both views.

My reasons are not
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
far fetched
.
Firstly
, medical facilities put in place to provide the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
in the times of need, assist to provide the assurances of prompt medical attention;
hence
improving the chances of survival.
For example
, about 30 percent of rural women in Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
during childbirth
as a result
of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non availability
of facilities which should have ensured regular antenatal and postnatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
Similarly
, there is a 27 percent death rate arising from road accidents in Nigeria
as a result
of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non availability
of paramedics in most of the cities in the country.

In addition
,
properly
equipped diagnostic laboratories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with an understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the illness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to advanced stages where it becomes difficult to curtail.
For instance
, 20 percent mortality rate for cancer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
in Malawi is attributable to late detection.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks are of the view that no matter how well hospitals are, human beings
are destined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. This spans from religious
You should probably use "believe".
believes
that death is compulsory for all mortals. An example is the fact that even the doctors who give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
eventually
.

In summary, adequate and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
enhances the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to reveal the status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time.
Thus
providing the opportunity for swift response and referrals to facilities with experienced
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "personnel", the plural form of the noun 'personnel'?
personnels
with professional expertise.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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