Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a news article or a story that you are interested in recently. And explain why you think it was interesting. (Include reasons and details in your response） v.1

Describe a news article or a story that you are interested in recently. And explain why you think it was interesting. (Include reasons and details in your response） v. 1
Using mobile phones while driving is common but it is widely considered dangerous due to its potential for causing distracted driving and crashes. Thus, some people think the government should control the number of cell phones using while driving. In my viewpoint, I agree with this idea. The first reason for this is because a simulation study has provided strong evidence that both retrieving and, in particular, sending text messages has a detrimental effect on several critical driving tasks. In addition to voice calling, activities such as texting while driving, web browsing, playing video games, or phone use in general, can also increase the risk of a crash. Additionally, using a hands-free cellular device is not safer than using a handheld cell phone, as concluded by case-crossover studies, epidemiological, simulation, and meta-analysis. The increased cognitive workload involved in holding a conversation, not the use of hands, causes the increased risk. For example, a study found that merely listening to somebody speak on a phone caused a 37% drop in activity in the parietal lobe, where spatial tasks are managed. Furthermore, mobile phone use while driving has economic impacts as seen in those drivers can have economic costs such as paying for costs of the collision, losing pay if late to work from distracted driving. More interesting, however, is how a driver's mobile phone use while driving can have external effects on both other drivers' safety and other drivers' economic property. In other words, the negative consumption produced by mobile phone use while driving not only affects others on the road but also causes economic inefficiencies. In summary, it is certainly right if the government has solutions to stem a tide of mobile phones and driving. The restriction of not only handheld phones but also hands-free ones will make a great benefit for many aspects of traffic security.
Using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is common
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
widely
considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
due to its potential for causing distracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and crashes.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the number of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
using while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. In my viewpoint, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The
first
reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a simulation study has provided strong evidence that both retrieving and,
in particular
, sending text messages has a detrimental effect on several critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
tasks.
In addition
to voice calling, activities such as texting while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, web browsing, playing video games, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in general
, can
also
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of a crash.
Additionally
, using a hands-free cellular device is not safer than using a handheld cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, as concluded by case-crossover studies, epidemiological, simulation, and meta-analysis. The increased cognitive workload involved in holding a conversation, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hands, causes the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
For example
, a study found that
merely
listening to somebody
The pronoun 'somebody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "speaks", "spoke".
speak
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
caused a 37% drop in activity in the parietal lobe, where spatial tasks
are managed
.

Furthermore
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
impacts as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in those drivers can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
costs such as paying for costs of the collision, losing pay if late to work from distracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. More interesting,
however
, is how a driver's mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
can have external effects on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
drivers' safety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
drivers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
property. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consumption produced by mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects others on the road
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
inefficiencies.

In summary, it is
certainly
right if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has solutions to stem a tide of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. The restriction of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hands-free ones will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great benefit for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of traffic security.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a news article or a story that you are interested in recently. And explain why you think it was interesting. (Include reasons and details in your response） v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts