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Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 2
There are numerous overseas films and TV shows which are watched by local audiences in recent years. However, some people believe that citizens should only watch their national ones. In my perspective, I do support the former trend for many reasons. It is clear that films and TV shows imported from other countries provide various benefits. First of all, watchers find it a great opportunity to study foreign languages. It is an authentic learning environment since learners can learn new vocabulary, grammar structures, pronunciation or even idioms and slangs. In fact, thanks to American series like Friends, Games of Thrones, Once Upon The Time and the like that Vietnamese learners have improved their English skills significantly. Moreover, movies or shows which are imported normally have great quality and a wide range of categories. People nowadays strictly require a well-qualified film from images and sound to the plot. As a result, American, Korean or European ones are considered their best choice. Moreover, local movies do not have as many types as the overseas ones; therefore, watchers have to choose the latter to fulfill their desire. However, local films and TV shows also contribute largely to a country’s development. People should pay attention to their local products since it conveys and reflects their culture and society’s hot topics. Only by watching their national movies can they attain much knowledge about their history and people. Additionally, citizens can contribute to the growth of their country’s entertainment services by enjoying local performances. A national blockbuster can bring a huge profit to local companies, actors and even other related organizations like travel agencies or hospitality services. In conclusion, both overseas and local TV shows and movies are beneficial to audiences; however, the former is much popular than the latter because of its undeniable exceptional features. Local producers should invest more in their products both in quality and quantity to attract more audiences.
There are numerous overseas films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
audiences in recent years.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that citizens should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their national ones. In my perspective, I do support the former trend for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
imported from other countries provide various benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, watchers find it a great opportunity to study foreign languages. It is an authentic learning environment since learners can learn new vocabulary, grammar structures, pronunciation or even idioms and
Possible spelling mistake found.
slangs
. In fact, thanks to American series like Friends, Games of Thrones, Once Upon The Time and the like that Vietnamese learners have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
significantly
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which
are imported
normally
have great quality and a wide range of categories.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays
strictly
require a well-qualified film from images and sound to the plot.
As a result
, American, Korean or European ones
are considered
their best choice.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
do not have as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types as the overseas ones;
therefore
, watchers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose the latter to fulfill their desire.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
also
contribute
largely
to a country’s development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should pay attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products since it conveys and reflects their culture and society’s hot topics.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by watching their national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can they attain much knowledge about their history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Additionally
, citizens can contribute to the growth of their country’s entertainment services by enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
performances. A national blockbuster can bring a huge profit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, actors and even other related organizations like travel agencies or hospitality services.

In conclusion
, both overseas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are beneficial to audiences;
however
, the former is much
Use "(popular)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
popular
than the latter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its undeniable exceptional features.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
producers should invest more in their products both in quality and quantity to attract more audiences.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Some people think that it is good for people in a country to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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