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Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV show. Others, however think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your opinions. v.2

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV show. Others, however think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 2
In recent decades, some foreign films and TV series are having substantial impacts on the local culture in a discernible way, rasing a question of ethnic codes. Although the proposal of importing more external films sould reasonable, I think the production of local ones would pay dividends. On the one hand, There are a great number of reasons why the production local films and shows should be encouraged. First, Local films is proved to be an effective tool to impart the moral codes and traditional precepts on children. This means that they could distinguish what is right or wrong in their social norms, which remarkably preclude them from crime commission. Second, a constant exposure to the beauties of national cultural values and historical sites through some television series would be conducive to a higher degree of appreciation and awareness of maintenance in citizens. For example, many Vietnamese beauty spots are now being restored and well-preserved by the local citizens thanks to such national films and movie series about the natural beauty of Vietnam. On the one hand, imported movies and TV series also bring several advantages to a local culture. First, By perceiving some lifestyles from overseas, a local government will detect the imperfections in their existing laws and therefore get amended to improve the living standards. For instance, Vietnamese citizens could freely interact with the international communities and voice their opinions about politics without the governmental censorship because Vietnam is open to new ideas of foreign films. In addition, An increase in foreign entertaining materials could associated with a higher level of interaction with outside cultures. This means that people would be less sensitive to the risk of culture shock when migrating or traveling abroad, which would make the assimilation into the new society easier. In conclusion, focusing on foreign films and shows would do more harm than good. The local government should recognise the benefits of producing local materials to facilitate the diversity of national cultures.
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
are having substantial impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
Consider replacing "in a discernible way" with the adverb for "discernible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a discernible way
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
rasing
a question of ethnic codes. Although the proposal of importing more external films
Possible spelling mistake found.
sould
reasonable, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones would pay dividends.

On the one hand, There are a great number of reasons why the production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
should
be encouraged
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
films
is proved
to be an effective tool to impart the moral codes and traditional precepts on children. This means that they could distinguish what is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in their social norms, which
remarkably
preclude them from crime commission. Second, a constant exposure to the beauties of national cultural values and historical sites through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
would be conducive to a higher degree of appreciation and awareness of maintenance in citizens.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Vietnamese beauty spots are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being restored
and well-preserved by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens thanks to such national films and movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
about the natural beauty of Vietnam.

On the one hand, imported movies and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
also
bring several advantages to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
First
, By perceiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lifestyles from overseas, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will detect the imperfections in their existing laws and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
amended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living standards.
For instance
, Vietnamese citizens could
freely
interact with the international communities and voice their opinions about politics without the governmental censorship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Vietnam is open to new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films.
In addition
, An increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
entertaining materials could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "associate"
associated
with a higher level of interaction with outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be less sensitive to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock when migrating or traveling abroad, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the assimilation into the new society easier.

In conclusion
, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
would do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the benefits of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
materials to facilitate the diversity of national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV show. Others, however think it is best to produce local films and shows. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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