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4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 1
While childless couples are more financially stable, they are less happy and face many challenges, especially when they are old. This essay will discuss both the benefits and the drawbacks of not having a child. Having no children to take care of means extra money in the saving account. Children expenses are growing dramatically, and it keeps rising with their age. Therefore, no matter what individuals work, they will not be able to save money for the future as parents have to secure money for their kids’ schools, books, and food. Research shows that married couples who had no children save 70% more money than those who had kids. On the other hand, there are many negative consequences of not having a child. Firstly, childless couples will suffer from boredom. Even though they will be financially stable their life will follow the same routine every day. Furthermore, having a child fulfill one of the most essential human desire which is the immortality. Research shows that childless couples are at risk of getting depression about 70% more than couples who have children. Secondly, not having a kid may seem normal for young people as they are healthy and don’t need anyone help. However, when those childless couples become elderly and retired, they will need someone to take care of them emotionally, financially, and medically as their health starts to deteriorate which is in most countries considered their children responsibility. A survey conducted in the UK showed that more than 50% of adults are responsible for their parents living expenses. In conclusion, the tendency of some married couples to decide not to have children has positive and negative impacts. Although those couples are financially safe during, they are more prone to depression as well as facing enormous challenges when they become old.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
childless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are more
financially
stable, they are less happy and face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges,
especially
when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This essay will discuss both the benefits and the drawbacks of not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child.

Having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take care of means extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the saving account.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
expenses are growing
dramatically
, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
rising with their age.
Therefore
, no matter what individuals work, they will not be able to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the future as parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their kids’ schools, books, and food. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
save 70% more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than those who had kids.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
childless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
will suffer from boredom.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
they will be
financially
stable their life will follow the same routine every day.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child fulfill one of the most essential human desire which is the immortality. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
childless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting depression about 70% more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a kid may seem normal for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they are healthy and don’t need anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "helps", "helped".
help
.
However
, when those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
childless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
become elderly and retired, they will need someone to take care of them
emotionally
,
financially
, and
medically
as their health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to deteriorate which is in most countries considered their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
responsibility. A survey conducted in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 50% of adults are responsible for their parents living expenses.

In conclusion
, the tendency of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
to decide not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. Although those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are
financially
safe during, they are more prone to depression
as well
as facing enormous challenges when they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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