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Topic: Some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. what are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled v.3

Topic: Some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. what are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled v. 3
In recent year, living in metropolises has been increasingly challenged. There are many problems that the inhabitants in major city can face, but this might be dealt with a lot of solutions. It is clearly that the cost of big city is higher than that in remove areas. Urban dwellers usually have to pay higher price on accommodation, food and transport. For example, the fee to rent a house in Ho Chi Minh city, is approximately twice as high as that in other provinces. so many people, who live in large city with the low-income, become homeless. Another issue is that the air pollution in large metropolises, due to an increasing traffic congestion and construction. As a result, the cities can be harmful and unhealthy because of many health problems such as pneumonia and lung cancer. However, these problem can be tackled by many effective measures. Firstly, people can share their accommodation with their friends and colleagues. For example, I and two friends of mine are renting a house to live that make the price cheaper than I rent alone. Secondly, government should reduce tax on petrol. This does not only make people use less private car but also make people use more public transport and electric vehicles. By doing this, the air quality in urban area can improve significantly. In collusion, the life in big cities is very difficult because of higher price and congestion. But the suggested answer above can help to solve it.
In recent year, living in metropolises has been
increasingly
challenged. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that the inhabitants in major city can face,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this might
be dealt
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
solutions.

It is
clearly
that the cost of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city is higher than that in remove areas. Urban dwellers
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay higher price on accommodation, food and transport.
For example
, the fee to rent a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
, is approximately twice as high as that in other provinces.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in large city with the low-income, become homeless. Another issue is that the air pollution in large metropolises, due to an increasing traffic congestion and construction.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can be harmful and unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as pneumonia and lung cancer.

However
,
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
can
be tackled
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective measures.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share their accommodation with their friends and colleagues.
For example
, I and two friends of mine are renting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the price cheaper than I rent alone.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tax on petrol. This does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less private car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more public transport and electric vehicles. By doing this, the air quality in urban area can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
significantly
.

In collusion, the life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of higher price and congestion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the suggested answer above can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Topic: Some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. what are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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