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Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer. v.3

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer. v. 3
Industrial revolution paved the way to the mass production of goods by using machinery which further magnified with the development of technology from 20th century onward. But that didn’t completely send away the good old hand made products from the market. In fact, they are making a huge come back, and sometimes with a premium price. I as a consumer prefer to buy the machine made products due to several reasons including but not limited to quality and price. People used to make all products using their hands prior to the arrival of machinery. But there was a limitation to the amount one person could do in a day. When the product is handmade, it doesn’t always stick to the same dimensions, quality and appearance due to the fact that the methodology of making by hand is crude and the ultimate product price is also higher. On the contrary, machine made products always confer to the same dimensions, quality and appearance throughout the production due to the various processes and quality check that occur in the production line. Moreover, the process is automated and needs minimal human interference and can produce in large quantities in a limited time which consequently bring the product price down. In contrast, the mass production also comes at a cost, which may be intangible, but that affects directly to the environment. Because of the fact that mass production by machines involves lot of material, energy and other resources and produces more waste, people who are more environmentally conscious prefer to buy the handmade products which does much less harm to the environment during its production. In conclusion, there are compelling reasons to buy both machine made products as well as hand made products. Most people prefer to choose machine made products for their quality, uniformity and cheaper price. But, in future, with the increasing concerns over the environment, this balance may shift to the other side.
Industrial revolution paved the way to the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
by using machinery which
further
magnified with the development of technology from 20th century onward.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that didn’t completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
away the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from the market. In fact, they are making a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
with a premium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. I as a consumer prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to several reasons including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not limited to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and price.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
prior to the arrival of machinery.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there was a limitation to the amount one person could do in a day. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is handmade, it doesn’t always stick to the same dimensions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and appearance due to the fact that the methodology of making by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
is crude and the ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is
also
higher.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
always confer to the same dimensions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and appearance throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
due to the various processes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that occur in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
line.
Moreover
, the process
is automated
and needs minimal human interference and can produce in large quantities in a limited time which
consequently
bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
down.

In contrast
, the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a cost, which may be intangible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that affects
directly
to the environment.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
Because of the fact that
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
involves
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
material, energy and other resources and produces more waste,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are more
environmentally
conscious prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the handmade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which does much less harm to the environment during its production.

In conclusion
, there are compelling reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, uniformity and cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, with the increasing concerns over the environment, this balance may shift to the other side.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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