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Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. ​ What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v.1

Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. ​ What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v. 1
Over the last few years, a multitude of people have been searching for ways by which the environment can utterly be preserved from harmful effects and damages. However, the contamination of lakes, rivers and seas has become a main anxiety for these people due to some reasons that largely contributes to this trend. In this essay, I will look at the reasons of water pollution and give more detailed information about the effects of it on the lives of animals and human society. ​ ​ The most common reason of water pollution is oil spill. This factor is believed to have the largest impact on water supplies because it features some chemical compounds which are extremely hazardous for liquids. Another reason worth mentioning is industrial waste. This type of wastes are mainly generated by plants, especially by those being situated in suburban areas, which not only negatively affect the atmosphere surrounding us, but also spoil seas, rivers, etc. in which various species of marine animals live. Therefore, pollution created by the refuses relating to industry is thought to be one of the primary causes of water pollution. ​ ​ There are some detrimental effects the contamination of water has on both animals' lives and human communities. Firstly, this kind of pollution causes the degradation of animals' and people's life qualities. Secondly, people and animals utilizing such water are more likely to be affected by some toxic chemicals and become more vulnerable to a large number of fatal diseases. ​ ​ To sum up, the spill of oil and industrial waste are the most prevalent causes of water pollution. This type of pollution reduces animals' and humans' quality of life and makes them more sensible to many of the deadly illnesses. Lots of actions must be taken urgently by governments in order to preclude the contamination of water.
Over the last few years, a multitude of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been searching for ways by which the environment can
utterly
be preserved
from harmful effects and damages.
However
, the contamination of lakes, rivers and seas has become a main anxiety for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
largely
contributes to this trend. In this essay, I will look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and give more detailed information about the effects of it on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of animals and human society.

​ ​ The most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is oil spill. This factor
is believed
to have the largest impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supplies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it features
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chemical compounds which are
extremely
hazardous for liquids. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
worth mentioning is industrial waste. This type of wastes are
mainly
generated by plants,
especially
by those
being situated
in suburban areas, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
negatively
affect the atmosphere surrounding us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
spoil seas, rivers, etc. in which various species of marine animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
created by the refuses relating to industry is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be one of the primary causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution. ​
​ There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects the contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has on both animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and human communities.
Firstly
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
causes the degradation of animals' and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life qualities.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and animals utilizing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are more likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toxic chemicals and become more vulnerable to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
fatal diseases.

​ ​ To sum up, the spill of oil and industrial waste are the most prevalent causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
animals' and humans' quality of life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more sensible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the deadly illnesses. Lots of actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
urgently
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in order to preclude the contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. ​ What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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