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Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. v. 1
The issue related to the complexity of technology and living without it has been heatedly debated by users in recent years. Some feel that the daily routine can be simplified excluding the technology. In my opinion, I totally disagree with those who say that technology should be reduced from life. However, the usage of technological devices without parent supervision has negative impacts on children’s education. Regarding those who hold that excluding technology can simplify life, there are many reasons. One supportive claim is that using technological devices without parent supervision can have negative impacts on children´s education. Furthermore, children are unable to manage their time using smartphones or tablets. It is also possible those parents are anti-technology because of a lack of knowledge. To illustrate, they are not able to set up a password to control the children´s initial access. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that opinion is ludicrous. The obvious reason is that technology has significant effects on people's communication. It is also possible to say that instant communication and internet mobile is vital for business interaction. Moreover, using the internet most of the students can have classes from home and employees can do home office. A typical example is in order to control the spread of Coronavirus, during the self-isolation in Canada most people are working from home using a notebook and internet. To sum up, I maintain that technological advancements are vital for social communication. The only concern is about children using cellphones and tablets without adult monitoring. Overall, technology has helped develop more advanced economies and it is recommended to the population learn and be on top of how to use then.
The issue related to the complexity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and living without it has been
heatedly
debated by users in recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
feel that the daily routine can
be simplified
excluding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from life.
However
, the usage of technological devices without parent supervision has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education.

Regarding those who hold that excluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can simplify life, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. One supportive claim is that using technological devices without parent supervision can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children´s
education.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are unable to manage their time using smartphones or tablets. It is
also
possible those parents are anti-technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of knowledge. To illustrate, they are not able to set up a password to control the
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children´s
initial access.

Nevertheless
, I
firmly
believe that opinion is ludicrous. The obvious reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has significant effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's communication. It is
also
possible to say that instant communication and internet mobile is vital for business interaction.
Moreover
, using the internet most of the students can have classes from home and employees can do home office. A typical example is in order to control the spread of Coronavirus, during the self-isolation in Canada most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working from home using a notebook and internet.

To sum up, I maintain that technological advancements are vital for social communication. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concern is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using cellphones and tablets without adult monitoring.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
develop more advanced economies and it
is recommended
to the population learn and be on top of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
then.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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