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Topic: Only government actions can solve the housing shortage in big cities? What extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Topic: Only government actions can solve the housing shortage in big cities? What extend v. 1
These days, it is believed that the lack of accommodation is an increasing menace in the big cities which could be tackled by only the government’s action. Personally, I totally agree with this view because of several effective measures. There are several individual solutions which could be addressed. To begin with, sharing the living space could be considered as a prior measure to tackle this issue. In the case of newlywed, they would have a tendency to settle in a new house of their own with only spouses. If multiple generations live together, the needs of housing could be decreased However, I would argue that only the government is able to handle this problem by the construction of apartment buildings. High-floor apartments that allow thousands of households to live in a storey could save more available spaces. The more buildings appear and occupy the position of independent houses, the more housing demand could be satisfied. Additionally, Constructing satellite cities could be considered as an effective way to improve housing status in urban areas. To explain, this type of city which is smaller municipalities are adjacent to a major city named metropolitan area. The infrastructure such as highway, public services would be invested in by the government, so that the citizens are able to get access easier to the metropolis despite settling far from the city center. This convenience would encourage citizens to evacuate to outskirts which could effectively improve the status of houses lacking in big cities. Due to the convenience of satellite towns, there would be more people evacuate to the outskirts giving rise to solve the shortage of housing in big cities. In conclusion, adequate accommodation is a fundamental issue for those living in the cities. While individuals play a role in improving the housing problem, the responsibilities of the government could be the most important and overcome that of people.
These days, it
is believed
that the lack of accommodation is an increasing menace in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which could
be tackled
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
action.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several effective measures.

There are several individual solutions which could
be addressed
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sharing the living space could
be considered
as a prior measure to tackle this issue. In the case of newlywed, they would have a tendency to settle in a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spouses. If multiple generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together, the needs of housing could be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
decreased


However
, I would argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to handle this problem by the construction of apartment buildings. High-floor apartments that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
thousands of households to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'storey' is British English.
storey
could save more available spaces. The more buildings appear and occupy the position of independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, the more housing demand could
be satisfied
.

Additionally
, Constructing satellite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could
be considered
as an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
housing status in urban areas. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, this type of city which is smaller municipalities are adjacent to a major city named metropolitan area. The infrastructure such as highway, public services would
be invested
in by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the citizens are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access easier to the metropolis despite settling far from the city center. This convenience would encourage citizens to evacuate to outskirts which could
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the status of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
lacking in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Due to the convenience of satellite towns, there would be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
evacuate to the outskirts giving rise to solve the shortage of housing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

In conclusion
, adequate accommodation is a fundamental issue for those living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While individuals play a role in improving the housing problem, the responsibilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and overcome that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Only government actions can solve the housing shortage in big cities? What extend v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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