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Many of the world's cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest? v.1

Many of the world's cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Today, many people in different countries of the world face poverty and a lack of housing space. In this essay, I will talk about several reasons for this problem and what decision needs to be made. Many children from an early age to go to different schools and educational institutions in order to receive education. But most of these children become lazy or for some other reason drop out of school and put a big cross on their bright future. The first reasons for this video game of various kinds. Some people believe that video games improve a child’s memory and intelligence. But there is some other problem in this, if you do not take into account the time spent in the game, that is, get hooked on this game, it will be very easy to drop out of school. Based on all this, we can confidently predict the future of this child. After leaving school, naturally he will not have a diploma with a higher education. And many employers will not want to give him a good job with a good salary. Sooner or later, he will need to earn a living and, without education in low-wage jobs, he will not be able to satisfy his needs. But in some countries there is not even an ordinary school where children can study mathematics, which is a necessary subject in our life. For example, in India, Indians do not try to educate their children, although India today is considered to be developed in the subject of industry and technology, many people in India are considered unemployed and do not have a permanent location (housing) In conclusion from all this, you can understand how important education is in our lives.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries of the world face poverty and a lack of housing space. In this essay, I will talk about several reasons for this problem and what decision needs to
be made
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from an early age to go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and educational institutions in order to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become lazy or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other reason drop out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cross on their bright future. The
first
reasons for this video game of various kinds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a child’s memory and intelligence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other problem in this, if you do not take into account the time spent in the game,
that is
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hooked on this game, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to drop out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Based on all this, we can
confidently
predict the future of this child. After leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
naturally
he will not have a diploma with a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers will not want to give him a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary. Sooner or later, he will need to earn a living and, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in low-wage jobs, he will not be able to satisfy his needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries there is not even an ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can study mathematics, which is a necessary subject in our life.
For example
, in India, Indians do not try to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, although India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is considered
to
be developed
in the subject of industry and technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in India
are considered
unemployed and do not have a permanent location (housing)

In conclusion
from all this, you can understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Many of the world's cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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