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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information is relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.9

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information is relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 9
During the recruitment process for job employment, employers tend to ask individuals applying for a certain role to fill some personal information such as hobbies, interests, and marital status: single or married. But is this piece of information relevant and useful? Some people opine that it is necessary while other individuals are of the opinion that it is irrelevant. This essay will discuss both perspectives and state my opinion. The proponents of this view often agree to the notion that the information is highly appropriate and effective because it hastens the recruitment process. The job description is often stated and explained in the advert, but several people, both qualified and unqualified apply. Employers generally have some criteria in selecting candidates for a particular job role such as sporting activities, hobbies, and leisure time events. For instance, a particular role might involve traveling to different parts of the world. During the recruitment, if a candidate signifies that he or she does not like traveling, it would be noted as such, and such candidate would not be recruited, or better still, would be placed in another sector in the organization. In other words, it hastens the time used in employing individuals for a job advert. Opponents of this notion opine that it is irrelevant and useless mainly because it seems biased. Some people do perceive the information as a form of discrimination among their fellow candidates applying for a job in an organization. There are some job opportunities that are mainly suitable for single adults, once a married person applies, such individual does not seem fit for the job. As a result of this, the married candidate may feel discriminated from the other candidates because of the marital status and that the piece of vital information stated enabled him or her not to partake in the competitive employment pool. In my opinion, specific personal information requested for during the recruitment process is very important, relevant and useful. Not only because it hastens the long process of recruiting people, it also enables the human resource team of such company select the best and suitable person for the job role. In conclusion, this debate is continuously universal as people have different opinions or views. Therefore, proponents do opine that the information is relevant because it fastens the recruitment process and enables the company select the suitable person, while opponents argue that it is a form of discrimination.
During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recruitment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
employment, employers tend to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
applying for a certain role to fill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as hobbies, interests, and marital status: single or married.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is this piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
relevant and useful?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it is necessary while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are of the opinion that it is irrelevant. This essay will discuss both perspectives and state my opinion.

The proponents of this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the notion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
highly
appropriate and effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it hastens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recruitment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
description is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the advert,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, both qualified and unqualified apply. Employers
generally
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criteria in selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
for a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
role such as sporting activities, hobbies, and leisure time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
, a particular role might involve traveling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recruitment
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
signifies that he or she does not like traveling, it would
be noted
as such, and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
would not
be recruited
, or better
still
, would
be placed
in another sector in the organization.
In other words
, it hastens the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
advert.

Opponents of this notion opine that it is irrelevant and useless
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it seems biased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do perceive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as a form of discrimination among their fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in an organization. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities that are
mainly
suitable for single adults, once a married person applies, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
does not seem fit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
As a result
of this, the married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
may feel discriminated from the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the marital status and that the piece of vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
stated enabled him or her not to partake in the competitive employment pool. In my opinion, specific personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
requested for during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recruitment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, relevant and useful. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it hastens the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of recruiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
also
enables the human resource team of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
select the best and suitable person for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
role.

In conclusion
, this debate is
continuously
universal as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions or views.
Therefore
, proponents do opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is relevant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it fastens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recruitment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
and enables the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
select the suitable person, while opponents argue that it is a form of discrimination.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information is relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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