Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. v.1

The housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. v. 1
The population in cities is constantly increasing, and thus housing crisis is a most common problem big cities are facing today. This is a major concern for governments as it not only increase the cost of living but also affects the quality of life for its residents. I do agree that only governments can solve this problem by taking various measures, such as restricting landed houses to save the space, encouraging vertical residential buildings and gradually expanding the city. In the olden days, people lived in landed independent houses as there were lots of spaces in the city. However, this is not possible in the modern cities as the city population is increasing rapidly, and resulting in a space shortage situation for accommodating housing for all. One of the action governments can take is to discourage building new landed houses and encourage people to live in apartment flats. For instance, Singapore government has built thousands of high-floor residential flats through housing development board to accommodate its ever-growing residents in an affordable way. It also stopped permission for building new landed houses to deal with the space crunch. Some governments are also looking at options for expanding the city to create more residential properties. For example, Bangalore, one of the fast growing cities in India is continuously expanding by incorporating more residential properties and other infrastructure at the outskirts of the city, which gradually becomes part of the growing city. However, this option is viable only when there are enough spaces surrounding the city. For cities like Hong-Kong and Singapore, which are islands, the only option is to grow vertically within the city. Solving housing shortage is an issue that requires proper planning and big investment and residence of a big city have very little to do and the government seems like the appropriate authority to solve this problem. In conclusion, the cities are growing rapidly and so the residents of the city also grow. Thus, it is the responsibility of governments to take appropriate measures to create better living place at an affordable price for its city residents.
The population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
constantly
increasing, and
thus
housing crisis is a most common problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This is a major concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
as it not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
increase the cost of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects the quality of life for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can solve this problem by taking various measures, such as restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, encouraging vertical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
buildings and
gradually
expanding the city.

In the olden days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landed
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
as there were lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in the city.
However
, this is not possible in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as the city population is increasing
rapidly
, and resulting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
shortage situation for accommodating housing for all. One of the action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can take is to discourage building new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in apartment flats.
For instance
, Singapore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has built thousands of high-floor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
flats through housing development board to accommodate its ever-growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
Consider replacing "in an affordable way" with the adverb for "affordable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an affordable way
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
permission for building new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
crunch.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
also
looking at options for expanding the city to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
properties.
For example
, Bangalore, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in India is
continuously
expanding by incorporating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
properties and other infrastructure at the outskirts of the city, which
gradually
becomes part of the growing city.
However
, this option is viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
surrounding the city. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Hong-Kong and Singapore, which are islands, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
option is to grow
vertically
within the city. Solving housing shortage is an issue that requires proper planning and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
investment and residence of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to do and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
seems like the appropriate authority to solve this problem.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are growing
rapidly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
of the city
also
grow.
Thus
, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to take appropriate measures to create better living place at an affordable price for its city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts