Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. v. 2
It is perceived by many that investing money in maintaining public libraries does not bring any benefits while nowadays people can apply technology computer for reading book. Personally, I completely disagree with the opinion. Hardly can anyone deny the popularity of technology in recent years. However, I have a belief that high tech gadgets cannot replace public libraries. The first reason is that people who love reading books have a tendency to read physical books than electronic ones. Indeed, readers would like to hold their favorite book in their hands to feel its cover and the smell of the pages, which people cannot have if they use electronic books. Moreover, reading book does not damage people’s health as reading lines of texts on screens of computers. Undoubtedly, looking on screens with a lot of radiations for a long period of time will make people’s eyes be tired. This will lead to the fact that they cannot read much if they use a computer for reading, which is compared to a book. As a result, people still prefer a real book in their hands than a book from the internet. For example, citizens of Ho Chi Minh City still go to libraries for reading books although the development of technology in modern era. The other point which needs to be considered is that maintaining public libraries can save money for societies. Indeed, not everything is free on the internet, special for books. People often have to pay amount of money to buy books on the internet. As a result, the amount of money used for the books is huge. Meanwhile, by using public libraries, people can leave books at libraries after finishing reading so that other ones can borrow the books without any costs. For instance, students can save a lot of money by using books of the libraries in universities. In conclusion, although people can use computers for reading books nowadays, public libraries still bring a lot of benefits for readers and their societies. So I have a strong belief that maintaining public libraries is the important activity which should be done.
It
is perceived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries does not bring any benefits while nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can apply technology computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Personally
, I completely disagree with the opinion.

Hardly can anyone deny the popularity of technology in recent years.
However
, I have a belief that high tech gadgets cannot replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries. The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have a tendency to read physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Indeed
, readers would like to hold their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
in their hands to feel its cover and the smell of the pages, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot have if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
does not damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
lines of texts on screens of computers.
Undoubtedly
, looking on screens with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
radiations for a long period of time will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
eyes
be tired
. This will lead to the fact that they cannot read much if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, which
is compared
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
prefer a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
in their hands than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
from the internet.
For example
, citizens of Ho Chi Minh City
still
go to libraries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
although the development of technology in modern era.

The other point which needs to
be considered
is that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for societies.
Indeed
, not everything is free on the internet, special for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on the internet.
As a result
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is huge. Meanwhile, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at libraries after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can borrow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
without any costs.
For instance
, students can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
of the libraries in universities.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries
still
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for readers and their societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I have a strong belief that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activity which should
be done
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts