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Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. v. 1
In this burgeoning domain, due to modernisation, masses are becoming dependent on the new technology as mobile phones, computers, and many more. Now-a-days computers are becoming a part of society as these are surpassed for human society. Some folks believe that these electronic gadgets are not useful in learning things efficiently. I disagree with the statement. In the beginning, all the aspects of our life are influenced by electronic machines. Electronic gadgets are good sources of enhancing the offsprings area of knowledge. For example, my sibling is using mobile phones, with the help of these he upgraded his knowledge. So, electronic gadgets are lucrative for students to overcome from their studies problems. In addition to it, now-a-days, electronic gadgets are providing mammoth of social sites through which we can stay connected with chums and kith and kins who are living a far away from us, as well as we can save our data in a computer. Some people assert that, thinking machine has various negative effects on kid's physical and mental development as children use electronic gadgets which involves sedentary. So that, they are becoming obese as well as computer makes the kid's eyesight poor. To be re-capitulate, the use of electronic machine has positive as well as negative effects and both are right on their sides, but my opinion is that electronic machines are lucrative for us as now we are living in the modern Geographical era, now every work depends on electronic gadget and it is considered as social status as well as computers are a good source of amusement which can refresh our mind. So, electronic gadgets are beneficial in our society. Now, the thinking machine is in vogue.
In this burgeoning domain, due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
, masses are becoming dependent on the new technology as mobile phones, computers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days computers are becoming a part of society as these
are surpassed
for human society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are not useful in learning things
efficiently
. I disagree with the statement.

In the beginning, all the aspects of our life
are influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sources of enhancing the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "offsprings'" or "offspring's"?
offsprings
area of knowledge.
For example
, my sibling is using mobile phones, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these he upgraded his knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are lucrative for students to overcome from their studies problems.

In addition
to it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are providing mammoth of social sites through which we can stay connected with chums and kith and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
who are living a far away from us, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as we can save our data in a computer.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that, thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
has various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on kid's physical and mental development as children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
which involves sedentary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they are becoming obese as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the kid's eyesight poor.

To be re-capitulate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and both are right on their sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are lucrative for us as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we are living in the modern Geographical era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
every work depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadget
and it
is considered
as social status as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as computers are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of amusement which can refresh our mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are beneficial in our society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is in vogue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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