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One way to solve the problem of congestion on the roads is to increase the tax on private vehicles. How could this alleviate congestion? What other measures can you suggest to deal with congestion in cities? v.2

One way to solve the problem of congestion on the roads is to increase the tax on private vehicles. How could this alleviate congestion? What other measures can you suggest to deal with congestion in cities? v. 2
One of the major concern on road is the problem of heavy traffic. This essay will discuss how higher tax on private vehicles can alleviate this problem and propose other possible measures to curb this. With regards to levying substantial taxes on private automobiles, an important outcome is that only affluent individuals can afford to maintain it. As a result, an average person will hesitate to purchase a car and the sales will drop drastically. For example, in India, in Union territories, the taxes on motor vehicles is very low, which makes if affordable for middle-class families. Consequently, if there is an increase in tax charges, then such families will not purchase and use other means of available transportation. Accordingly, there will be reduction in flow of traffic. Other cardinal measures to combat problems of traffic-jam are ameliorating public transportation and creating bike lanes. With regards to the former, government needs to improve modes of public transport by construction of trams and metro rails, which should have greater frequencies to maintain convenience and effectiveness. As for the latter, construction of bike lanes will also reduce traffic congestion and also encourage go green campaigns by reducing emissions. For instance, majority of the European countries such as Britain and Germany follow aforesaid model of transport system, as a result, they are the most minimal polluted cities in the world. In conclusion, although higher taxes is one of the measures, improving public transportation and idea of constructing bi-cycle lanes will assist in minimizing problem of traffic congestion.
One of the major concern on road is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of heavy traffic. This essay will discuss how higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on private vehicles can alleviate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and propose other possible measures to curb this.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
levying substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on private automobiles, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
outcome is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affluent individuals can afford to maintain it.
As a result
, an average person will hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a car and the sales will drop
drastically
.
For example
, in India, in Union territories, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on motor vehicles is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
if affordable for middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families.
Consequently
, if there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
charges, then such families will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other means of available transportation.
Accordingly
, there will be reduction in flow of traffic.

Other cardinal measures to combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of traffic-jam are ameliorating public transportation and creating bike lanes.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the former,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
modes of public transport by construction of trams and metro rails, which should have greater frequencies to maintain convenience and effectiveness. As for the latter, construction of bike lanes will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic congestion and
also
encourage go green campaigns by reducing emissions.
For instance
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the European countries such as Britain and Germany follow aforesaid model of transport system,
as a result
, they are the most minimal polluted cities in the world.

In conclusion
, although higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is one of the measures, improving public transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of constructing bi-cycle lanes will assist in minimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of traffic congestion.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay One way to solve the problem of congestion on the roads is to increase the tax on private vehicles. How could this alleviate congestion? What other measures can you suggest to deal with congestion in cities? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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